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Just the thought that he's so intent on getting htly wound passion to start to expand and pulse deep within ht," I tell hih

"Good," he says, and doubles up on the pace of his fucking

Beck's jaw tightens, his eyes focus on ainst le inch of my flesh His hips pump furiously and his cock hits e huff of breath just before his eyes squeeze shut

It's alrab on to his lower lip, and his head tilt back as he starts to coasm loose and I cry out in surprise at its power

Beck grinds intoinside of you is so goddaood"

"Yes," I htly, ripples of pleasure going up and down ers almost spastically

"Oh, Christ," Beck pants as he lowers s off his shoulders I realize at once that I was barely able to breathe being als makes me dizzy

It causes h of relief as I suck in more air

Beck drops down on top ofhis elbows into the mattress He presses his face into my neck, kisses me softly, and then pulls up to stare down at me

"That was kind of ',' " he says with a grin

I nod, feeling lighter in heart and soul Still that little bit of underlying sadness thatwhat I just had with Beckand that I could have that forever if I give this an honest effort, helps to lighten the burden of my loss somewhat

Beck winds his hands under my back, rolls offon our sides face to face He pushes a leg in between s a hand to the back of my head, and tucks it into the crook of his neck

"When do you want to go to your dad's to get the decorations?" he asks while the fingers on his other hand stroke up the middle of my spine

"This weekend?" I ask hi the week "I' he and Maria ant us to stay for dinner"

"How about Friday night?" he asks hesitantly

"Sure That ork"

We're silent for asated and drowsy I wonder what it would be like to take an afternoon nap with Beck Just be naked and lazy in his arms

"Sela?" Beck says after a cough that clears his throat His voice is tense and hesitant

"Yeah?"

"JT wants to get together with you and me for dinner on Saturday I kind of accepted, but I totally understand if you don't want to go I can "

There's no stopping the white-hot flash of rage that turns my blood to lava, and for an instant, I can't even speak because the feeling is so painful it robs me of words

"I know you don't like hiiven you any room to, so I'm totally cool if you say no It's justhe's still ether, I' to have to do functions with hi to run into hiet to know a little of the JT that I happen to like when he's on his A-game"

I take a deep breath in, let it out Another in, let it out I try to think calhts and banish the red haze of fury from my vision

"You're awful quiet," he says softly "I' to be a no to the invitation"

I think about the red tattoo on Beck's backa permanent part of hi embodiment of what that tattoo represents to me, and my choice to just live hat he's done Can I seriously be around the man who brutalized me? Can I look him in the eye and have a polite conversation?

Will I ever be able to be in the same room with him and not lust with murder?

I don't know It's unfathomable to me