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“It suits ray areas, right? No risk of being shat all over froht” She turns to face me, and I back off a little
I’ht”
“And you go there, too, so I assuray in your life either”
When did this become about me? I quickly realize it isn’t about me It’s still about Raya—Raya and her need for reassurance that I’ Is it too late? I clear my throat “Yeah”
She nods assertively I hate how resolute she seems
“What about your parents?” I ask
“Mybirth to me My father killed himself shortly after”
“Fucking hell” I can’t keep my disbelief back My heart breaks for her Who held her before me? Who comforted her and wiped her tears? No one Because there isn’t anyone in her life now, and that thought is agony for et that she has no one Forget all of her losses, just for a while, because there is nothing she can do to forget them completely And her ex? What kind of arsehole is he? I fall into a daze, analyzing every piece of information she’s offloaded Her trust levels are understandably rock-bottom She is rock-bottom
“My grandpa devoted his life to raisingI could drea without hiht as a button as he alas, laughing and joking, and the next he was gone A massive stroke Just like that”
I wince “Why are you selling the house, Raya?”
“He explicitly requested I sell it in his will and use the money to follow h her expression is weighed down, a huge effort “I couldn’t live here alone, not with Grandpa everywhere I look”
“So where are your dreams, Raya?”
“I’ to Australia”
Her declaration is like a dagger plunged into et the word out The other side of the world? “Why?”
“Grandpa loved it there” Her soft words confirm my fears “He lived there untilme up We went there every year for the su his ashes back to where he alanted to be I need to get away from here I need a fresh start”
I exhale, breaking away fro my unsteadiness All of this has shocked land has rocked me to my core And I don’t like it At all None of it—the news or my reactions to the news
Jesus, Hux was an escape for her all right, but only until she could actually escape Like leave the fucking country
“When are you leaving?” There I really didn’t want to go there
“As soon as I sell this place”
I jolt, feeling like I’ve just been struck by lightning “Right,” I murmur So she wasn’t mad because I’d acted like a caveman but because if that buyer walks, I’ve stalled her plans to leave
“I’ re to revisit the for the ride Then I’ll head for Australia and scatter his remains” Raya sets the picture on the sideboard and releases her hair froe, seely unaware that I’m over here in turlass from the cabinet “Hope you don’t mind”
“’Course not” I could do with a drink myself
“Want some?”
“No” That would be stupid Words, so many words, words that are a total ju around I shouldn’t add alcohol to the ” I start to back out of the kitchen “I’ll, us”
“Can you not scare theain, please?”
“No, I wouldn’t want to delay your plans to leave the country” I frown to myself
“Well,” she says quietly, taking a sip of her wine “There’s nothing here for me anymore”
What if there is? I turn, disturbed byin around me
As soon as I’hten out s to my car Fuck me, I feel like I’ve been physically winded
Chapter 9
Australia?” Sa thereeable, and slurps his beer “It’s an a place to live”
Jesse knocks Saes the neck of the bottle fro beer dribble down his chin “What?” he questions
Jesse’s eyes roll dra under his Ralph Lauren shirt on an inhale “You practically tra huge red flag, mate”
I stare at h “I’ bits here
Saood shoulder “It happens to the best of us, a, and worst of all I didn’t even realize I was fucking playing Women do that Make you lose your sense and perspective”
I cannot believe I’ advice on women froet the wo is for sure: I already have battle wounds Some of the to ste headache
I feel like I’m at a crossroads in my life My next move is crucial It wouldn’t be so bad if I knehere exactly I wanted to be I’m forty this year, and I was content with all I a woround that all to shit The only woman in my life toAnalyze everything Damn her
I could ask her not to go, simple as that Except it isn’t that sih at the notion I can’t give her that The only female I’ve ever been co Raya to stay would ia to a wouaranteed to be in uaranteed Besides, that’s assuht run for the hills at the news that I have a daughter Raya is twenty-four I’ forty
I laugh out loud, pro? Why a of war inthe country, and she seems quite content with that Anyway, ia Back to reality
“Hey, boys” Kate breezes into the bar, her vibrant red hair in a low ponytail over one shoulder She has a custo on her cheek that Sa ahen she sits on his lap
“I need your help delivering a cake,” she tells hi it on the bar
“What do I get in return?” He grins, and Kate dips, whispering so when he shoots up and declares his departure “Would love to stop and continue with the therapy session, but I’ve had a better offer” Seizing Kate’s hand, he all but hauls her out of the bar
“Therapy session?” I say to his back, turningfunny?”
“Nothing, Drew Absolutely nothing” He picks up a text on his phone, and the glint in his green eyes, the glint that’s always there since he met his wife, r
eflects off the screen
“Ava?”
“Ava,” he sighs, tapping out a quick reply “Her parents are taking the kids out this weekend” His eyebroaggle cheekily, no doubt et with the love of his life For the first time I can remember, I’m envious of my friends’ contentht years later I honestly never thought they would find women who could handle them And now it’s just me It never bothered me before now
“She’s too young for ia is my priority There’s no room in my life for much else”
Jesse sly “You could leave Hux behind, because I’m damn sure that would leave a space to be filled”
“I like it, though It’s easy No commitment No expectations No drama”
“Yeah, because your life isn’t a soap opera right now, you twat”
I scoff That will soon be resolved Raya will be leaving when the house is sold andon in s Gone
“Anyway, you sorry motherfucker” Jesse slides off his stool and slaps et home to my beautiful wife”
He strides out, andAndrea She sounds excited “The lady, Annie Ryan, the woian in West London Remember?”