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All my plans and intentions ended when he raised a hand to stop o! And Alex, you always have a choice You justhi up for a second tiet to this point? I turned and ran down the hall to the steps, not stopping until I was outside I needed to get home I was about to break and I wasn’t sure anyone would be able to put ether How could I have done this to the both of us…again

The day I ht, I fell hard into a bottomless pit He was the only one who could help me out but noas left with nobody to hearaddicts need to hit rock bottoet better What happens to so up with the love of their life? There was no rehab for a broken heart; it was up to s better The way I saw it, I had three choices – I could live a lonely life, I could find someone else or I could stop all this nonsense and be with Dane

I couldn’t stoht of it made me sick When I closedme that I always have a choice and the feel of his hands on my body No one else could ht , it was that I wasn’t ready Dane couldn’t be replaced when he still owned me

I lived alone before Dane and since I’d lost hiht possible There was a hole in my heart that only he could fill; it would be there forever I always thought the concept of soul mates was cliché, but I believed it now If I were to lay it out on paper, ouldn’t seeret the time I spent with hiht me what love was and how to listen to my heart I would always look back at the decision I made on the ride home from Greenwich and wish my heart had been louder than my head Life was a series of lessons that lead you to future decisions I will nevertoI am; I see that now

As much as I would like to run back into Dane’s arms, I couldn’t I had done too much, caused too much hurt I would be surprised if he could even look at me anymore For the past feeeks, I couldn’t bare to even look at ive myself, but I was not in the position to ask hiot away

So where did that leave ure out who Alex hen all the noise was stripped away For the first tiuide my own life and follow my heart Dane once told me I have to take all of life’s lessons and use theht I didn’t realize it before all the air drained fros but noas tiain I spentafter painting until ry and dark, but had shifted over the past few days to soth than I ever had in the past; control was a powerful, peaceful thing

Spring break started yesterday I hadn’t planned on going ho I needed to take care of; soo My parents were leaving for their trip to to thes I had left unsaid and they couldn’t re to ripped the steering wheel tight as I pulled into the driveway I knew this could very well be the last tiuest There was a ti welcome in my own house would have punched me in the stomach, but I kneouldn’t be the worst pain I ever felt Nothing could co

I parked my car and stared at the front door for a few s I wanted to say Nineteen years ofonto I wanted the re moments of my life to be mine I had too e It was time to lay it out there and move on

I stepped out of the car and let my wobbly knees carryin h life, you’re never alone", and it propelled me forward

As soon as I closed the front door, I heard her heels on thebreath and closed my eyes as I listened Click Click Click I used to tremble every time I heard that noise, but I wouldn’t allow that sound to affect s My mother has never been a listener Of course, if I told her I was dating a Kennedy or a dashing young doctor, or that I had been accepted into Harvardshe could repeat at the country club, she didn’t want to hear it Today that was all going to change; she was going to listen to my pain

Her face showed shock as she ca here? I didn’t think you were co home"

"I just stopped by to talk to you and Dad for a minute Is he home?" I kept my eyes on her and my voice held steady to oing to let her see that

She eyed me up and down I never asked to speak to them I avoided it "He’s in his study Follow me," she said in her usual cold, detached voice I propelledmany deep breaths as alked down the hall Click Click Click

I replayed everything in my mind one more time so I wouldn’t lose my nerve to continue The study was a reeredfroave me the push I needed

I didn’t waste any ti my major to Art after this se" I looked over atwide open She quickly composed herself and looked at my father who had actually looked up from the paper His eyes seared intodown this ti We will not pay for you to take a bunch of art classes for the next three years You’re better than that You’re a Riley" By the look on her face, she thought she’d won I wasn’t going to let her win this one

"I don’t care if you pay for it or not I already applied for student loans," I said, raising her than I had ever allowed asp from where my mother sat Score one for Alex "I’m a Riley by blood, but I will never be like you I’m better than that"

The roo but I had a few s to say "And from now on, I will love who I want to love Dane was the best thing that ever happened to " My voice was angry as I leaned forward into listen to lasses and threw them on his desk "Alexandra, we’re your parents and we have every right to guide you Where is this co from? Did that boy put you up to this?" he said, his voice shaking with anger I sest he had looked atme You never did You had a plan for me and I was expected to follow it, whether I wanted to or not That’s not guiding I didn’t knohat I was o back to life before him I et into ht hter who left here seven an before I cut her off

"I ao I was just buried insideme down anymore" The shock on her face made me smile inside I already wasted so much time on them and their ideals I was in the midst of the best years of my life and there was no ti to defy us, you can hand over your credit cards and leave your car here I will not continue to fund this nonsense,"on the desk His shoulders were tense and I could see the veins in his neck For the first time since I entered this room, the consequences of my actions were said aloud My parents didn’t want the real me, they never had It took me a minute to recover froth propelled me

I pulled the keys out ofthe credit cards out ofthem in his direction "Happiness is uys will realize that" Myopen I wanted her to say so A part of me wanted to hear distress in her voice because I know she had heard it in ive me that satisfaction

"Here’s twenty dollars for a cab back into the city I suggest you find somewhere else to stay over the sum into his wallet and throwing cash on his desk I panicked briefly; I had nowhere to stay over the su his cash on the desk I took one more look at my mother as in stunned silence for the first time ever and then to my father as a deep shade of red and walked toward the door "I don’t need your money Have a nice trip," I said as I turned the knob and left the study, walked down the hall and out the front door for the last time I was on my o For the first time I stood up to my parents and didn’t back down