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'Don't kno to tell you this, sir,' he said

'Out with it, man'

'Sir, they say he's dead, sir They say he killed himself and ran away

'Killed himself?'

'Sorry, sir'

'And ran away afterwards?'

'On a camel, they say'

'We lead an active afterlife in our fa pardon, sir?'

'I mean, the two statements could be held to be mutually exclusive'

Dil's face beca blank

'That is to say, they can't both be true,' supplied the king, helpfully

'Ahem,' said Dil

'Yes, but I'dom we believe you live after death only if you've been mumm-'

He stopped

It was too horrible to think about He thought about it, nevertheless, for so about it'

Dil said, 'Your son, sir?'

'Never mind about'He can look after himself, he's my son It's my ancestors I'an

It has already been reination In a job like his a poor iination was essential But histhe river, and his h solid doors that no thief could penetrate

And it heard the scrabbling

And it heard the ha

The king put a bandaged arood man with a needle, Dil,' he said 'Tell ehareatest storyteller in the history of the world, sat back and beareatesttable

Teppic had added another iota to his store of neledge 'Symposium' meant a knife-and-fork tea

'Well,' said Copolymer, and launched into the story of the Tsortean Wars

'You see, what happened was, he'd taken her back ho, this was the one before, the one with the wossnairl from over Elharib way, she had a squint, as her naan with a P Or an L One of them letters, anyway Her father owned an island out on the bay there, Papylos I think it was No, I tell a lie, it was Crinix Anyway, the king, the other king, he raised an army and theyElenor, that was her name She had a squint, you know But quite attractive, they say When I say married, I trust I do not have to spell it out for you I mean, it was a bit unofficial Er Anyway, there was this wooden horse and after they'd got inDid I tell you about this horse? It was a horse I'et my own name next! It ossna, I ht No, that was the other one, I think Yes Anyway, this wooden pig, daue Wood But that was later, you know The fight! Nearly forgot the fight Yes Da Wossnaht and a half, that fight Between thingy, not the one with the limp, the other one, wossname, had red hair You know Tall fellow, talked with a lisp Hold on, just remembered, he was from some other island Not hio, he said he was mad Of course, he was bloody mad, definitely I , no, not that king, the other one, he saw the goat, he said, "I fear the Ephebians, especially when they're reat wooden livestock on the doorstep, talk about nerve, they must think as born yesterday, set fire to it," and, of course, wossname had nipped in round the back and put everyone to the sword, talk about laugh Did I say she had a squint? They said she was pretty, but it takes all sorts Yes Anyway, that's how it happened Now, of course, wossname - I think he was called Melycanus, had a lio hoetting any younger That's why he drea about the wooden wossname Yes I tell a lie, Lavaelous was the one with the knee Pretty good fight, that fight, take it from me'

He lapsed into self-satisfied silence

'Pretty good fight,' hefaintly, dropped off to sleep

Teppic are that his ownthe table several of the diners iping their eyes

'Magic,' said Xeno 'Sheer ic Every word a tassel on the canopy of Time'

'It's the way he remembers every tiny detail Pin-sharp,' th of the table, and then nudged Xeno beside him 'Who is everyone?' he said

'Well, Ibid you already know And Copolyreatest teller of fables in the world And that's Antiphon, the greatest writer of coonal?' said Teppic Xeno pointed to the far end of the table, where a glule between two bread rolls 'I'll introduce you to him afterwards,' he said

Teppic looked around at the bald heads and long white beards, which see white beard, they see isdoh he was built of pork

They are greatto work out how the world fits together, not bytheir brains in whatever crack they can find and trying to lever it apart

Ibid rapped on the table for silence

'The Tyrant has called for war on Tsort,' he said 'Now, let us consider the place of war in the ideal republic,' he said 'We would require-'

'Excuse me, could you just pass me the celery?' said Iesope 'Thank you'

'-the ideal republic, as I was saying, based on the fundaovern-'

'And the salt It's just by your elbow'

'-the fundaovern all men Now, it is without doubt true that warcould you stop that, please?'

'It's celery,' said Iesope, crunching cheerfully 'You can't help it with celery'

Xeno peered suspiciously at as on his fork