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OK Don’t panic Don’t panic

I’ll escape from this Of course I will It’s not like I’ll be trapped here in this hideous confined space, with no hope of release, forever … is it?

As calmly as possible, I assess the situation My ribs are squashed so that I can hardly breathe, and my left ar fabric” knehat they were doing My right arle If I try to reachfabric” bites into my wrists I’m stuck I’m powerless

My face is reflected, ashen, in the mirror My eyes are wide and desperate My arms are crisscrossed with black shiny bands Is one of theo round the waist?

Oh God I should never ever have tried on the size 4

“How are you doing in there?” It’s Mindy, the sales assistant, calling from outside the cubicle curtain, and I start in alarhs that start three inches apart She looks like she probably runs up a mountain every day and doesn’t even knohat a KitKat is

She’s asked three ti, and each tietting desperate I’ve been struggling with this “Athletic Shaping All-in-One” for tenher off forever

“Aht?” says Mindy enthusiastically “It has three ti power of norht?”

Maybe I have, but I’ve also lost halfcapacity

“Are you doing OK with the straps?” co room and help you adjust them?”

Co a tall, tanned, sporty Angeleno come in here and see my cellulite

“No, it’s fine, thanks!” I squawk

“You need soain “Some of our customers find it tricky the first time”

I have a hideous vision ofto haul the All-in-One off me while we both pant and sith the effort and Mindy secretly thinks, I knew all British girls were heifers