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PROLOGUE

They say that just before you die your whole life flashes before your eyes, but thats not how it happened for me

To be honest, Id always thought the whole final- sounded pretty awful Sootten, as rade, for exalasses-and-pink-braces period), and does anybody want to relive the first day offaebra classes, period crah the first time around

The truth is, though, I wouldnt have reatest hits: when Rob Cokran and I first hooked up in the , so everyone saw and kneere together; when Lindsay, Elody, Ally, and I got drunk and tried toperson-sized imprints in Allys lawn; hts and danced on the table in the backyard; the tiot chased by the cops, and laughed so hard we als I wanted to be remembered for

But before I died I didnt think of Rob, or any other guy I didnt think of all the outrageous things Id done with my friends I didnt even think of ht turns the walls in my bedroom the color of cream, or the way the azaleas outside mysmell in July, a mixture of honey and cinnamon

Instead, I thought of Vicky Hallinan

Specifically, I thought of the tirade when Lindsay announced in front of the whole gyeball team Shes too fat, Lindsay blurted out You could hit her with your eyes closed I wasnt friends with Lindsay yet, but even then she had this way of saying things thatwith everyone else while Vickys face turned as purple as the underside of a storm cloud

Thats what I remembered in that before-death instant, when I was supposed to be having so revelation about my past: the smell of varnish and the squeak of our sneakers on the polished floor; the tightness of , empty space like there ay ym

And Vickys face

The weird thing is that I hadnt thought about that in forever It was one of those memories I didnt even know I remembered, if you knohat IThats just the kind of thing that kids do to each other Its no big deal Theres always going to be a person laughing and sohed at It happens every day, in every school, in every town in Americaprobably in the world, for all I know The whole point of growing up is learning to stay on the laughing side

Vicky wasnt very fat to begin withshe just had soh school shed lost that and grown three inches She even becaether and said hi in the halls One tiht it up at a partyere all pretty tipsyand we laughed and laughed, Vicky most of all, until her face turned alym

That eird thing number one

Even weirder than that was the fact that wed all just been talking about ithoould be just before you died, I mean I dont reme that I always got shotgun and refusing to wear her seat belt She kept leaning forward into the front seat to scroll through Lindsays iPod, even though I was supposed to have deejay privileges I was trying to explainout what those would be Lindsay picked finding out that she got into Duke, obviously, and Allyas bitching about the cold, as usual, and threatening to drop dead right there of pneuh to say she wished she could relive her first hookup with Matt Wilde forever, which surprised no one Lindsay and Elody were sh the cracked-open s The road was narrow and winding, and on either side of us the dark, stripped branches of trees lashed back and forth, like the wind had set the

Elody put on Splinter by Fallacy to piss Ally off,with Matt, who had dumped her in September Ally called her a bitch and unbuckled her seat belt, leaning forward and trying to grab the iPod Lindsay coarette dropped fro and trying to brush the ehting and I was trying to talk over theels in May The tires skidded a little on the wet road, and the car was full of cigarette s like phantoms in the air

Then all of a sudden there was a flash of white in front of the car Lindsay yelled so like sit or shit or sightand suddenly the car was flipping off the road and into the blacksound in twoand smelled fire I had tiarette out

Then Vicky Hallinans face ca and rolling all aroundinto a scream

Then nothing

The thing is, you dont get to know Its not like you wake up with a bad feeling in your stomach You dont see shadohere there shouldnt be any You dont remember to tell your parents that you love theood-bye to them at all

If youre like me, you wake up seven minutes and forty-seven seconds before your best friend is supposed to be picking you up Youre too busy worrying about howmore than throw on your clothes, brush your teeth, and pray to God you left yourso you can do it in the car

If youre like me, your last day starts like this:

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