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It feels apropos guarding a future businesswoman
And I’ll be in college Sitting in lecture halls that I would’ve taken at eighteen if s, time circles back around, and I feel like I should be here Even Sulli agreed I need to maintain course for a little while
What I want and love, I won’t drop
Yet, I’m scared
In the last minute
In the final act where we’ve finally hung on and begun to breathe
Could everything just blow up again?
Overcast, the winter sky is glooh off the wins and our reunion together The Meadows’ cozy butthick branches in nostalgic glory Windowpanes, wraparound porch, a fake smokestack—this is a clubhouse of a kid’s wildest dreams
Sulli reaches the ladder at the tree trunk, and Banks and I stop a couple feet away as our girlfriend plucks a berry and floral wreath off the ladder’s rung Brushing snow off the woven blue flowers and pieces of fern, she comes closer to us
“My mom made this for me”
I realize, “It’s a flower crown”
Banks inspects the berries
I give him a look “You knohat it’splants is news to me
“Not a clue My thumbs are covered in oil, not dirt”
Sulli kicks my shin, then his shin in soft Sullivan affection We’re hooked on her as she says, “These are winterberries, Forget-Me-Nots, and ferns” She studies the croith a faraway look “Banks asked me where my head is at in ter honest with both of you” Sulli lifts her green eyes with tenacity and resolve Gold-h finish lines and onto podiuht never be ready for that kind of attention and aggression every single day ofeternity—fearing another leak”
I shift“We can be careful, Sul”
“Can we, Kits?” She shrugs “We never have been”
“We can try”
“I don’t want to be scared to kiss you I don’t want to feel guilty for kissing Banks Our love shouldn’t be weaponized against us, and it could be at any fucking point in time”
Banks is quiet because he’s ready to roll with Sulli into pandemonium
Deep down, I want to be there, too “I can’t get over your threat level, Sul It’s astrono you nant”