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Inside the closet, at the back, behind a box of clothes, was a locked cupboard That was surely where the goods were kept I easily broke the lock and checked inside, where I found row upon row of cassettes, old reel-to-reel tapes, and newer CDs Boxes filled with Polaroids of young girls just pubescent, their eyes blank, their faces pale, some with makeup on, red smears on their lips, bodies in obscene poses that made sense only when assumed by adult women

I feltfor Celia a the faces—for the black hair and chocolate-brown eyes Spencer and his group of perverts were e and a little co little girls shouldn't even know about, let alone perform on an adult The label read, "Penny 8"

There was nothing in the box showing Celia—thank God Perhaps these predated Spencer's time with her They were older, taken in the 80s, the color fading

I started sorting through the cassettes, reading dates and labels I sat on the edge of the bed and held the tapes inwhether to watch then or not If I did, I'd be witness to horror I knew I could probably not forget, but I wanted to see him and know he deserved to die I'd know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that killing him was completely just I knew that already, but I needed to see what the worm did so I could look hi Spencer to admit to his crimes

When I killed Spencer, and I would kill him, I'd make him say the words

I slipped a tape into the VCR and watched it On it, the irl—any little girl As I watched, I thought about Celia and about our encounters when she was a teen Was Spencer doing this kind of thing to her back then?

It made me ill to even consider it

I'd seen and done shit that would hts where I'd blown off the heads of ene body parts strewn around the road, bodies burnt beyond recognition

I'd never seen anything like this

The ents They were terrorists They were adults, they were hardened, they kneas going to happen, they had been prepared for it

When I made them bleed, the blood was justified When I itimate

The only response to witnessing a video like this was to kill the man Death was the only justice possible All that kepthim in as slow and deliberate and painful a way as possible

Witnessing the anonyh violence I could kill the ive me immediate satisfaction

However, I wanted to do it right I wanted to do it legally On top of that, I wanted to make sure all his perverted associates went doith him

In public