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The excitement level of the croent up with the lively tune

My excitement increased when Noah came to stand by s of my childhood

“Hi,” I shouted so they could all hear

“I’ to catch some candy!” Liam squealed

My youngernear the roadside, with their parents trying to hold theot maimed by a tuba player

A palpable tension hung between Noah andLike a child waiting for Santa, knowing he knew exactly the gift to bring you With every glance and gaze, h ere in public I foundThat spoke voluled deeper intoa cute barrier between me and his uncle

My parents and siblings sha and gazing frequently at me He never physically touched lances, I kne he felt aboutat h to letift

As atched the parade’s procession of floats, bands, and convertibles—filled with celebrities who lived aland—it was hard not to absorb the ic of the Christmas season It was as if hope lived and breathed If that wasn’t enchanting enough, when a local jazz band began to play “White Christly perfect

I looked up to the sky and let the snowflakes catch on my eyelashes and ues to catch a few So the snowfall

Noah watched irl he knew Yet he patiently waited

When Santa arrived, everyone cheered Santa’s elves threw candy out into the crowd, and as was the town’s tradition, a chorus of “Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town” broke out

I hadBut I remembered many ti as loud asnow Unfortunately, he wasn’t the only person I could hear Above the swell of h my holly and jolly

Noah and I must have heard it at the same time, as our heads jerked to the left There she was near the street sign they changed to Santa Claus Lane each year especially for the parade, in her snug white juet her bri-lost Kardashian sister as she rambled on about the charht Claudia Cann can’t do this side of the lake

It didn’t help when Ben ca his wife, who constantly had a phone in front of her face What a life

I had to askhere? I looked up at Noah, who“Are you okay?” he mouthed

I nodded, feeling like I ht puke I hated that they still made me feel off-center and like I wanted to scurry away Yet, Iher to a place thatfor our relationship, for me They were here for the photo op and that was all that mattered He was a self-centered jerk

I couldn’t help but think, though, that I too often lived, not necessarily for the photo op, but for the laugh or validation That I let virtual friends and strangers have a huge say in my life Many who didn’t care for me beyond my snarky and snappy posts

Then there was Noah, who maneuvered hi but selfish He took care of everyone around hi, breathing person in my world A constant, no matter what I had done or would do

I foundfor Noah’s hand Not because I needed hioodness He was real, and when it was all said and done, he would follow me on any path I chose