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My hands tighten on ht”

“Ahh…” she nods and sly, as if she understands “You have someone lined up already”

“Nope” I drop s at the bottom

“Nathan or Tegan?” she asks

“No I’ht”

“Abby—”

“To experiment”

She looks worried when I look up at her She has every right to be Ever since her and Imy addiction I have in the past, before INathan, Tegan, and I—decided to es that weren’t helping us behind, I’ve always openly pursued men to take care of my needs

“What brought this on?” Her question is asked quietly

I shrug and give her a little bit of what I’ I’ht I’m tired of sex, period” The last isn’t true I’m just tired of sex with anywithout It’s about tiain, just to see if I can do it”

She looks doubtful She’s seen me atme to my knees When I sweat so much, it soaks , and the anger that takes control I know I’ht, but I’m determined to see if I can handle it I need to know if I can force my addiction back Not just because if I can, there may be a chance for me and Blue, but for my own peace of mind

“I’ on her bottoh this by myself

“Thank you, Ava,” I tell her sincerely “But I need to do this on my own”

“Abby, you shouldn’t be alone You know it’s going to get bad”

My heart clenches at the anxious tone of her voice I reach over and grab her hand, linking our fingers together