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Gwenna

“Does Kellan think that?”

He frowns

“Does he agree hat you said? That you deserve pain?”

He shakes his head, looking troubled “I don’t—”

“You are in pain” I stroke his wrists; I look into his desperate eyes “You’re here, you’ve been back for a while, but you’re still hurt I know” He looks down as his face hardens I can feel his body still: e the best you can, baby, trying to hold yourself together… I know And you’ve done really well You’re so strong But you knohat? I think you can’t trust yourself on soht now A part of you—” I s His eyes flick to ht like the sun, almost painful I push forward in a breathless whisper

“I think you want

to hurt yourself You don’t knohat to do; you can’t see your way out And you can’t trust yourself right now to knohat you deserve Kellan loves you” I s, clearing my throat “I love you Cleo loves you, too So I think you have to at least take into consideration e think” I take his hands in mine and squeeze “We don’t think you should be hurt, or that you deserve to be in pain We want you to feel better I just want you to feel good”

I hold hi I can feel his pain seep into my own bones

“Whatever happened over there?” I lean away so I can look into his tortured eyes “That is in the past That Barrett? He’s gone Maybe you can think of hione, just like Breck You can’t reach his were so bad, you wanted the pain To have control over yourself or…I don’t know But you can be a different person now, I swear, I know you can Not can—are You’re here now You won’t go back there You couldn’t if you wanted to So I think one

“You’re not a sniper anyainst me, quiet and still “You’re not a killer, Bear You’re irl who makes cakes with beer You still look like the other Barrett… You have scars of his But you— I know this Barrett You’re sweet and brave and strong” I stroke his soft hair “What was left from all that stuff, what you came back with—the day you met up with Kellan and Cleo and they drove you to rehab your ar… You are him And he does not deserve to hurt”

I take his face in my hands; he lifts his head off my shoulder and I stare deep into his eyes

“If it doesn’t ring true to you, you have to believe ht… your brother can… Cleo can… You are someone ne The other Barrett, that one…” I shakefor words “Maybe you feel so bad because you’re holding onto soone Andback And who you were before then?” My voice cracks “I have one of those too This ghost version She isn’t co back either You knohat I mean?”

His wet eyes blink at ently over his soft skin

“That Bear is gone And you can miss him Miss hiht have liked her”