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I throw out nine vitamin ball bombs and sink a wooden case of frozen rainbow trout in the pond I don’t see Papa, who I know from my pre-visit cah it anize the stock shed If Papa scents me and wanders over… Well, who am I to protest?

With a silly smile on my face, I walk back to hts, and spend the next two hours catching up on work-related emails—with St Jude’s, with the stuffed bear supplier, with a few Beary Appreciated Donors, and with the fencing company, who last as supposed to send someone to patch a weak spot on the east side of the fence, but didn’t

I realize as I wait on hold with the fencing place that I haven’t even thought to check the cae, then Ja as she tells me about Niccolo, and how histrouble, and Nic’s brother—the poor, sweet, dead one, John—was honored recently with some kind of posthuotten her very first gray hair, and before I know it, I’ve skile trace of anybody

Sweet!

I hear Ja

“Are you at Starbucks?”

“I’ a client”

“When?” I giggle “We’ve been on the phone almost an hour”

“Ho find out what happened”

We hang up without ht with Barrett, and to be honest, I’lad It’s nice to keep it to myself: my very own delicious secret

I spend the next hour doing Bible study and thenvery zen about this thing with Barrett Either it’ll bloo or it won’t All I can do is opento be grateful for whatever comes my way

I pass the rest ofa trip to Wal-Mart for a laundry list of household ite lights fro

I tell lad to have the lights It’s getting colder, closer to the holidays, and usually when it gets near Christhtmares

On that note, I decide to pull out s

I spent the night at Barrett’s last night I went over there drunk, and he seemed really off from the first moment, now that I look back on it I tried to leave after just a little bit, and he wanteda panic attack I felt so bad for him