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I lean ainst his chest, where I can hear the fast boom of his heartbeat

“So you can die, or you can kill a kid The worst tiot hit Maybe you’re in front of them So you can kill the kid or they can…” He ss I look up at him “Would you let the kid blow up your buddy?” I can feel his chest start pu the sensation will center him

“I drearound,” he round I didn’t see it very often through o But in Ramadi Syria… In other places All the places with close quarters fighting You would just walk away…and they wouldn’t Everyone I know, I see theround” His voice cracks “You know…cause you’re human You kind of—some part of you wants to pick them up Not at that moment They just tried to kill you But you walk away and—sometimes you know theet theht then” He puts a hand over his eyes “I always try to get the fire But usually I’ there I walk up on theot there I just stand there”

I can feel hi about his nightmares

“Taking out a target, it’s a fucked-up job But that’s not what I see when I’m asleep I just see people on the floor”

I notice he said floor, not ground

“People eren’t over there with you?”

He nods, his face still covered by his hand

“Are you here in the US?”

He ss Through the barrier of his fingers, I can see his blue eyes glimmer

“Last night, I kept seeing this rug”

I look down “Oh” This one

He folds his ar me

to hi

I locklump in my throat “Was someone on it—in your dream?” I whisper