Page 24 (1/2)

I just wanted to call back my admission

And I wanted to see my blood flow so that I had some shred of proof that I was still human

Because I didn’t knohat I was anymore

I had no idea how ain I expected Jace to releasehi ainst him When I did, he said, “I think that doctor would have told you that what happened to you and Nick and Eli was beyond comprehension I think she would have told you that your mind had to cope with that level of depravity in the only way it could and that there is nosense of any of it And she would have told you the saain”

Jace paused before whispering his next words one agonizingly slow syllable at a time

“It’s Not Your Fault”

He gave me a little shake “Do you hear me? It’s Not Your Fault”

I sucked in lungsful of air as the anxiety in row every time he spoke

It was too much

It was just too fucking much

Jace’s ainstwhimper “Please, Caleb Even if you don’t believe me, say you hear me Please”

I didn’t believe him

I couldn’t

But I wanted him to not hurt anymore

And I knew he had to be hurting

A– unless maybe he was desperate

I didn’t answer hith for that

But I did nod

Just once

It appeared to be enough for Jace, because his hold eased on me just a little bit He held me there like that for several more seconds before he said, “Come back to bed, Caleb Let me hold you”

There were no platitudes about how things would look better in theme to believe him All he’d asked was for me to hear him and to hold me