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Chapter 1

Being part as a massive pain in the ass

One thing I could really do without wasthis run-down convenience store a real garden of delights, between the ne on the cashier, and the expired reasy hot box

My objective: get in, buy booze, and get out as fast as possible, but when I reached the wine section, I froze with indecision I was shopping for my first date in decades and had no idea as popular these days After a few moments, I selected three different white wines and three reds Then, just to be safe, I grabbed a rosé

I hauled the arne-drenched cashier frowned at hteen”

“Not true Most people think I’m in my mid-twenties”

He rolled his eyes “Whatever Let’s see your ID”

Another annoying thing about being part e aged very slowly, so even though I was pushing a hundred and twenty, I still regularly got carded Since I was in a hurry, I waved ers and said, “You don’t need to see my ID”

When he repeated, “I don’t need to see your ID,” and began ringing up rin That Jedi mind trick was courtesy of my warlock side, which was a million times more fun and useful than that olf bullshit

He packed the wine in a cardboard box with a picture of some sort of off-brand cereal er, it should be I loaded the alcohol in the trunk of ht blue Barracuda, and then I slid behind the wheel and took a deep breath

On the drive back ho the hell down There was no reason to be nervous, since nothing was probably going to co Sure, we’d see online, but it wouldn’t take hi to realize I was odd and socially aard once ere face-to-face About the best I could hope for was that he’d fuck ain

As I turned onto the private driveway leading to ine how this place would look to es by a friendly but iainst the retaining wall That would probably raise some questions

So would the fact that I lived in a huge, purple Victorian, which seemed wildly out of place in the Hollywood Hills It looked sinister in the dark, so when I reached the top of the driveway, I flicked hts Now it just looked like an overgrown dollhouse In retrospect, I really should have made plans to meet him anywhere but here

I parked off to the side to ed h to the kitchen at the back of the house Now the waiting gaan

I’d expected hiht-fifteen, I was sure I was being stood up I picked uphiain without sending a text If he wasn’t coh, and I didn’t really want to hear whatever fli me

Finally, at nineteen past the hour, I heard a car co up the driveway and dashed into the nearest bathroootten a haircut, and my black hair was very short on the sides Maybe too short I tried to finger-coone with a light blue button-down shirt and jeans, and that wardrobe choice wasn’t doing otten carded I looked like a high school senior who’d dressed up for picture day