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Soave me a box full of darkness

It took ift

~ Mary Oliver

I’m not an awful person, I swear I’m not, but you wouldn’t know that if you saw me on Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy)

Oh, you’ve never heard of it?

Good

It’s a ridiculous reality shohere thirty beautiful girls compete for the love of a hot cattle rancher To show their devotion, they do super s like wear red cowboy boots with tiny denim shorts, squeal for him at the local rodeo, and, of course, take their turn on a mechanical bull This last activity will later be edited into a hilarious FAIL reel since none of the women ever lasts more than ten seconds, and some not even two

(If you must know, seven And it wasn’t pretty)

“It’s back on!” My younger sister Natalie bolted fro my arm when she flopped down next to me

I frowned “Nat, ivable, depending on how they edit this last segarita while I watch it is not” I’d hoped a tequila buzz would nu myself be an obnoxious twat on TV, but so far, it hadn’t happened

In my defense, producers told ot to Montana, they took me aside and said, “We like you, but ant you to be the crazy one people will love to hate, and we’ll ood at it” After thinking it over for athe shoas to get noticed If I was just another nice girl who got cut after the first episode, where would that leave me?

Had I known that clever editing would make me look even worse than I’d acted—a feat I’d have sasn’t possible—I iven that decision more than sixty seconds

“Oh, coht side, Natalie patted my head “Every show needs someone to hate on, and that person is always the ht?”