Page 31 (1/2)

Ballistic Kiss

When you’re trying to hold off a hellbeast you better have soer than a meatball sub Especially if it happens to be your only weapon

I ood meatball sub should be hard to hold A crunchy, saucy,is skinny as a ferret Probably froo to malls Or, for that matter, Fresno And, seriously, the only people who’d buy this crap hate the

The difference is subtle but important

Anyway, back to the hellbeast

A huge blob of bruised purple skin and teeth like rotary saws Spidery legs waving like they’re trying to hail all the cabs in New York Only the legs have teeth too Shouldn’t a hellbeast have teeth or scary spider legs? Both just seems rude

Speaking of killing, that’s what’s about to happen to me

I look around for so Maybe I could throw some hoodoo at the fucker to at least slow it down, but I can’t think of any Mind’s a total blank So, I rip the meatball sub in half and throw each piece into each nostril on its wobbly snout It rears back and shudders Stops co after me This is my cue to run like hell to the nearest exit

Only there aren’t any I can’t even cli dome

What have I gotten myself into? How did I end up here, and et out with no doors and no hoodoo?

As I sprint, I sort of half-reood at hoodoo on the fly Like,co will happen What have I got to lose?

I turn and point a defiant finger at the blob’s face A lish and Hellion and o

Nothing

Zip

Then a light flickers in the air A flame that spreads out from a pinpoint to the size of a dinner plate Where it stops And falls onto the ground

That was e

I go back to fleeing

Run about a dozen steps, trip, and fall flat on uy stuff, coood news is that what I tripped over is the top of a fe it out of the arena floor and wait for the hellbeast like a fucking caveman A cracked-out Fred Flintstone

Finally, the spidery bastard sneezes out both halves of the sandwich It looks as pissed as a big purple blob can and chargesred-rimmed eye in its wobbly head As round until it’s close enough

Then I throw the femur as hard as I can