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YOU’D THINK THE end of the world would be exciting, but this apocalypse is about as ery
Take the current situation Sitting at a dead stop in traffic, as lively as a stone angel over a tomb Not one car has moved in ten minutes It’s bu new, but this kind of traffic is 24/7 these days, as it seee all at once And the rain It’s been co down nonstop for teeks It’s like LA lost a bet with God and the old bastard is pissing his Happy Hour whiskey all over the city Which, when you get down to it, isn’t far fro in the apocalypse
“Any tier seat “I thought this was supposed to be a car chase”
“By current LA standards, this is a car chase”
“Current LA seriously blows And I think ills”
We’re in an Escalade I stole in Westwood I hate these showboats, but it can handle the flooded streets and gets h over the other cars that I can keep an eye on a cherry black ’69 Charger up ahead There’s a guy inside that US Marshal Wells, grand high shitbird boss of the Golden Vigil, wants to talk to
“I should go up there, rip the fucker’s door off, and stuff him in the back of the van”
“And you could take a brass band so no one misses the show Your boss would love that”
“He wants discreet, but he knows I’ood at discreet I swear he did this to me on purpose”
I reach for the Maledictions in hter on the floor on Candy’s side She picks thearette
“Marshal Wells is a“He only has your best interests at heart”
“Abraham was a man of God and he almost did a Jack the Ripper on his kid to prove it”
“See? You get off light Your father figure just sends you out in the rain to drown”
Candy flicks the lighter and sparks a cigarette Hands it to me and rolls down herto let out the smoke
I say, “Wells is a father figure like I’m one of Santa’s elves”
“There you go You’re getting into the Christet you a pointy hat with a bell so you feel like a real elf”
“You already gave ave you the guitar”
“That was different Those were ‘We ht’ presents And it was November, so they don’t count”
“This is just you angling to get another present”
“It’s the end of the world, sweetheart Crack open the piggy bank”
“We spent the piggy bank on Max Overdrive”