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Magnolia

Four years ago

College campus on the East Coast

I lie to myself That’s what a person does when they’re hurt They say they’re not hurt at all

“I’o fuck himself” The additional statement is an extra special truth toout of h I’m alone in my apartment with no one here to listen to my declaration The ball of anxiousness and betrayal in es itself deep at the ulp of Sweet Red I take seems to ease that cruel combo down and shrink it so I can s the bitter breakup

Wine and cupcakes That’s what I’ve been working with tonight I could eat a dozen cupcakes right now, but I only had two left over … and even the reone So now I’m down to just wine

Alcohol, sweets and trash TV is supposed to be how a girl deals with a breakup, right?

I’hurts I’ve never been with anyone else I’ve never loved anyone else I don’t even kno to handle a “breakup” If I can even call it that He duh school sweetheart, the man I’ve been with for five years du phone call

Tears prick the back of ether when I was home last week and how adamantly I believed the words that came out of his mouth when he toldhi to happen

I need more cupcakes Shoot, maybe I should buy a full-blown cake at this point

I pick up the half-e into the pale pink oal you can dream is printed on the other side of it in a silver, feet wasted And yes, I can achieve it One point for me

I don’t own shot glasses, but a bottle of citrus vodka is next Not having wineglasses didn’t hinder the wine, so why should a lack of shot glasses hinder the vodka? Teeks ago, when I turned twenty-one and partied in e, ht and leftaway from one of South Carolina’s coastal Sea Islands was insane for me to do in Renee’s eyes She’s never had any intention of leaving Not for college, not for anything She loves the boating life and sea breeze As do my other friends

Maybe that’s why Robert ended it This long-distance relationship is too h Maybe it was the long distance that kept hi the relationship In less than a year, I’ll be back in our s-distance relationship anymore Maybe he could deal with me far away, but in reality he didn’t want h, that hurts, that deep-seated insecurity that just burrowed into the pit of my stomach