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“It doesn’t matter,” she says, her voice soft “Don’t beat yourself up for not knowing all the answers You don’t always have to knoho you are You don’t have to have the big picture, or knohere you’re heading So to do next”

For a while I let her words run through my head, like cool water on a headache

“And what a

“You’re going to help me shell the beans for lunch” She’s so matter-of-fact that I half smile in spite of myself

Meekly, I follow Iris into the house, then collect a big bowl of broad beans and start splitting the pods as she shows me Pods into a basket on the floor New broad beans into the basin Over and over and over

I become a little calmer as I immerse myself in my task I never even knew broad beans came from pods like this To be honest,the the the them away

But this is the real thing This is what they’re like, dug straight out of the ground Or … picked off the bush Whatever it is

Each tireen jewels And when I put one in my mouth, it’s like—

Oh, OK It needs to be cooked

Yuck

When I’ve finished the beans we return to the dough, kneading it into loaves We put the loaves into special tins and then have to wait another half hour for theain But somehow this ti strawberries and listening to the radio until it’s time to put the tins into the oven Then Iris loads a tray with Cheshire cheese, bean salad, biscuits, and strawberries and we take it outside to a table set under the shade of a tree

“There,” she says, pouring solass “Better?”

“Yes Thanks,” I say aardly “I’m sorry about earlier I just …”

“Saht” She cuts a piece of cheese and puts it on ize”

“But I do” I take a deep breath “You’ve been so wonderful … and Nathaniel …”

“He took you to the pub, I heard”