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Dad worked long hours, but I was his princess, and when he was home, it was just the two of us He’d brave tiaras and boas to have tea parties with me; he knew the names of all of my stuffed animals, talked to them like they would respond; and he would always be the one to tell , but she knee had a special relationship, so she always stayed in the door fraet hurt, if he was at work, Mo show of how she couldn’ton for dear life until Dad got home She must have called hi—even though it was almost always just a scratch—pick me up, and place a Band-Aid wherever I was hurt, and miraculously I was all better Like I said, irl needs a dad like that But now, other than precious memories, all I have left of him is his love for the phoenix Moe outline of a phoenix painted directly abovethat’s still there today, though Moh I tried to keep a ring he’d had all his adult life with a phoenix on it,after he died, and I hadn’t seen it since

Mycoffee always had ruaritas, she’d continue to go to the club for martinis, and by the ti scotch or vodka straight out of the bottle Sheot to pick ot I even existed After that first day of being forgotten at school, and the next day not showing up because she wouldn’t leave her roo rieving, just not the extent of it

After a ith no clean clothes and a few rounds of trial and error, I began doing ure out my homework by myself, and would make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for both of us, always leaving one outside her bedroom door Almost a year after Dad’s death, Jeff ca company—his last name was everywhere in Mission Viejo, California—but up until that day I’d never seen or heard of him One day Stephanie dropped me off and he was just moved in, my mom already married to him

That night was the first tientle mother who couldn’t kill a spider, let alone spank her own daughter when she misbehaved, hitme to call him Dad, and my mom hit me across the back with the new scotch bottle she’d been atte bruise From that point on, I never went a day without some kind of injury inflicted by one of the those, because when they started throwing coffee lasses, or lamps, or when my mom took off her heels and repeatedly hit me in the head with the tip of her stilettoI didn’t know if I would still be alive the next day About a week after the first hit hen I first got beat with Jeff’s socket wrench, and that was the first night I opened my , popped off the screen, and made my way to Tyler’sAt seven years old, he helped htshirt was covered in blood, and held my hand as we fell asleep in his bed

Over the last eleven years, Tyler has beggedon, but I couldn’t let that happen If Tyler told them, they would call someone and I knew they would take me away from Tyler My hero had died, and the mo soree was agreeing myself that if he ever found me unconscious, all promises were off and he could tell who Tyler quiet; we never had factored in the neighbors

After the first three years of the abuse, I stopped sneaking out to Ty’s house every night, only doing so on the nights when it was so , no matter what He kept a first aid kit in his roo he was able to We butterfly-bandaged alet stitches We told his dad I tripped over so for a run outside each time I’m not naïve, I knew his dad didn’t believe , and the only ti it on Ty’s TV—but ere always careful to hide ure out where I actually got the cuts from I’d sit at their kitchen table and let him sew me up, they’d let me out the front door when they were sure I was okay, and Tyler would be waiting by his openas soon as I rounded the house Every night he had soht he would hold my hand and curl his body around mine until we fell asleep

So when Tyler kissedro me in the same way he had since ere kids

“Cassi? Did I lose you?” Tyler waved his hand in front of my face

“Sorry Life, starting over Friends, yeah, this, uh—will be—I need tofriends” I’lish somewhere in that sentence

Ty barked out a laugh and squeezed ed the subject “So what do you think about the apartment?”

“It’s great Are you sure you want et my own place, or even sleep on the couch” My own place? That was such a far-fetched idea it was almost funny; I didn’t even have a hundred dollars to my name

“No way, I’ve shared e that now”

“Ty, but what about when you get a girlfriend? Are you really going to want to explain why I live with you? Why we share a dresser, closet, and bed?”

Tyler looked athis eyes back to the road His brown eyes had darkened, and his lips werewith me, Cassi”

I sighed but didn’t say anything else We’d had a version of this argument plenty of times Every relationship he’d ever had ultimately ended because of ether I hated that I ruined his relationships, and whenever he was dating so his calls so he could focus on his girlfriend instead That never lasted long though; he’d clih my , pick me up out of bed, and take me back to his house We never had to worry about my boyfriends, since I’d never had one What with Tyler’s possessiveness and all, no one even atteh to s for was too old for me and had only been in my life for a few shortthere,and I felt this weird connection with hione I’d drea blue eyes Ty didn’t know about hih, because as the point? I’d just barely turned sixteen and he was a cop; I knew I’d never see hiain, and I didn’t Besides, other than et close, strange connection or not When my already-disturbed world turned completely upside down the minute a new man came into our housetrust issues were bound to happen