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Shameful indeed

Calling attention to myself like that

Today is my 16th birthday

I was raped

I think I deserved it

A shudder runs through me as I think about that entry in my journal, and I burn from the inside out with mortification While I don't remember much about what happened to me at that party--justmy injuries--I do remember much of what led up to that party The huo when I realized that I brought it all down upon irl in a harsh man's world

I s hard, give ether, and sly beautiful with vivid red hair arranged in an elegant chignon and peridot green eyes that glow almost eerily Those have to be contacts

"Can I help you?" she asks crisply

"I'm here to see Beck North"

Clarista--I see her by her na in my casual attire and actually wrinkles her nose at me "Let me just verify that with his secretary before I send you back Your name?"

"Sela Halstead," I tell her, trying to hten my spine and even throw my shoulders back so she can perhaps seeto Beck--and that they are natural, unlike hers

She actually turns her back onin a low voice into the phone as she calls who I assume to be Beck's secretary I know her naht that she's the only person other than his sister who actually recognizes his birthday He said she's like his surrogate grand that she works for a al manner, of course

Clarista turns back to ht smile as she stands from behind the desk "Follow me"

I walk behind her to a closed door with a security panel attached to the wall beside it She pulls at a security fob attached to her waist that stays connected by a retractable chain, and holds it up to the panel A sreen She opens the door, looks down her nose at ht down this hall Linda will meet you"

"I knoay," I say, and turn fro a little bit of excite over the ways in which he's seely commandeered my attention I've never been excited to see a man before I most definitely have never enjoyed sex like this before

And da while we read trivia questions to each other; it was almost surreal It was the closest I've ever truly co a normal relationship with a man where conversation flowed freely and without effort

Putting aside the fact that he's paid reat deal of money to sit on that couch with him, of course

A wouess steps into theone, and I have to assu a stylish pantsuit of navy blue with a blue, red, and gold checked scarf tied at her neck Her hair is snohite and her eyes a soft brown She gives me a warm smile as I approach and holds her hand out "Youto steal him away for lunch today"

I'm immediately taken in by her warm affection for her boss, and as I shake her hand, I tell her, "It's nice to meet you"

She squeezes aze slide down ain, except there's not a hint of condescension or judgment She smiles at me brilliantly and says, "Aren't you just the loveliest of creatures Beck really lucked out with you"

My face flaenuine compliment in my life, and I'm more than a little shamefaced that if she knew my ulterior motive, she'd never think Beck lucked out with me

I follow Linda back down a hall, we turn down another, and I recognize the area She leads me to a corner office, and as I peer down the corridor that runs the length of the building, I can see the corner of Karla's desk froht beside that

Linda opens the door andwith the progra a few minutes late but he'll be here soon Just make yourself comfortable"

"Thank you," Iin Beck's office It's as pristine, contemporary, and minimalist as his home is There are no personal photos or knickknacks The decor is in black, white, and gray with so es, and reds

I wonder if the i to do hat seerew up in I know my family didn't have a lot in the way of money, but we certainly had love within our tiny house While I was closest towhen she had me, I also have an affectionate bond with ht after an to cool a little when he started dating again He's now been with Maria for a year and I expect they'll get e hih, but after Mom died, Dad was all I had left and now I have to share him That I don't like very much

"Well, what do we have here?" I hear from behind me, and

I turn around to see Jonathon Townsend standing in the doorway to Beck's office His hands are tucked casually into the pockets of very expensive navy tailored slacks and his eyes drop to -sleeved T-shirt quite well