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After the phone call froured on staying around New York for a feeeks There was no iet out to Phoenix

Now? I can't leave fast enough I take out a pad of paper fros that I'll need to accomplish tomorrow

1 Call realtor to list condo

2 Go visit Dad and Nix

3 Hirecompany

4 Pack clothes

5 Make plane reservation

Si Ever behind I feel like the faster I can put distance between us physically, maybe the faster I can move on with my life

I'm tired, and I'm miserable, and I'm lonely

Linc has been gone for ten days, and I only know that because Emily called me on the day he left It's been thirteen total days since I last saw hiht I crushed his heart, and in the process, inadvertently crushed mine

Thinking back to that night rips pain straight throughall ofthem downstairs to meet the cab I had called

When I got hory that Linc would put that pressure on me Furious that he would disrupt e had

Ito Phoenix But, couldn't we have worked so distance relationshipyes, why couldn't we have that?

Turning on my computer, I pulled up a blank Word docu I poured out every bit of hurt that elling up inside of ers Goalie Loses In Shoot Out

I laid every hurt right on Linc's doorstep I lah time How he pressured me How he didn't understandme dohen I couldn'tme to my father

I wrote for a solid two hours and filled up fourteen pages with ue And when I was done, I printed it and read it I even proofed it for errors and then es from my red-line edits

I printed it again, and I read it I felt vindicated I felt powerful, and I felt in control

When I went to read it a third time, I stumbled over the first line I had written

Linc Caldwell is no different than any other man I've had the misfortune to encounter

I read it again, trying not to stutter over theto say

And so filled h my veins I went to take a deep breath, and realized that I had no lung capacity A tiny squeak caainharder this ti cramp hit the center ofand low, trying to expel the hurt from my heart And thenand then my eyes flooded with tears

They came on fast, like a torrential downpour They ran overmy neck I made no effort to blink theood Instead, I let the sobs hitto tear my heart out The pain was unbearable, and I was confused over this onslaught of emotion

It had hit

I moved to my couch and buried my face in a pillow And I cried, and I cried, and then I cried some more At one point, I cried so hard, I couldn't catch my breath and I almost hyper-ventilated

It was ht started to abate I must have blown my nose at least twenty ti headache that had formed

Stuht and looked at rief I had never looked so forlorn in all of my life

And there was only one reason

I had destroyed my one chance at happiness with Linc Caldwell