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After it was all over, people hugged et Jake None of them were Alex

I’d lost two people on the night of that crash: my brother and my first love There were no words and no condolences that would make that better

Then, oneabout six months after the crash, I ith the realisation that Alex would never turn up I’d held out for six longwould make sense from all of this It’d taken six months for the truth about Alex to dawn on me: he just didn’t care

It was like the light of common sense finally penetrated the darkness of my mind

I got out of bed, realising I couldn’t sleep and mourn my life away Jake would’ve never wanted that I came alive in baby steps I had to forcein the sun

Taking a shower every

Looking for work

Suraduated froo to university But su about it I’d lost all heart for study Mu y than I had Dad spentin on his car

Jake’s things sat in his room, untouched

Sue, I opened the door The rooym socks and dirty t-shirts It was a wonder the rats hadn’t moved in

Muathered up the clothes fro Then I opened the wardrobe The smell of Jake hit me and I wanted to collapse into a heap, but I sank my teeth into

I didn’t stop until I used up every garbage bag in the house The azines I found under the bed, I didn’t even look at