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Darkness swept over ht was that Kyle was dead Kyle was dead He saved me, and now he’s dead Sobs echoed, echoed, wrenched from a ruined heart
Chapter 5: Liquid Heartbreak
Two days later
I swept the last lock of hair back and fixed it into place with the bobby pin I barely recognized host-white with dark rims under my eyes My eyes looked back at me from the mirror, pale blue like the sky and just as empty
“Nell?” My mother’s voice came from behind me, soft, hesitant Her hand closed around o, honey”
I blinked hard, blinked back the nothing I felt nothing I felt no tears I was eony I nodded and turned onthe bolt of pain whenthe front door open, eyes watching ht explode, or crumble
Either was possible But it wouldn’t happen, because you had to feel for that And I didn’t feel Nothing Nothing Nothing was best
I descended the steps, clicked across the blacktop driveway to my Dad’s boxy Mercedes SUV I slid into the back seat, drew the buckle across my torso and waited in the silence I sawlances at me After a ot into the car We drove away in silence
My father’s eyes met mine in the rearview mirror “Do you want some music on?”
I shook my head, but couldn’t find the voice to speak He looked away and kept driving My mother twisted in her seat to look at
“Don’t, Rachel,” Dad said, touching her arm “Just leave her be”
I met ratitude silently, with dead eyes
Rain fell Slow, thick drops through still, war like the storm that stole Kyle Gray, heavy clouds, low in the sky like a broken ceiling Wet cerass and puddles on the sidewalks
I clutched a crumpled, folded piece of paper in my hand The note I had it memorized, now I’d read it and reread it so , a small room filled with tooto look in Stood next to a tastefully-created collage, pictures of Kyle, of us together Strangers in the pictures, I thought, seeing happyhifriends Cousins Becca, huggingivenin front of me They’ve been here all the while, but I couldn’t see them Couldn’t bear to meet their eyes But now they’re here, hands clasped and threaded between theme I said little about what happened There was a stor about the proposal, the ring onabout the fact that ere arguing That it should have been s differently, their son would still be alive
Nothing about his death being my fault
If I had said yes, he would still be alive We’d have gone up to the bedrooh the house, but not near us