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"Please," he breathes, his voice strained and gravelly "You want to , is that it? Is that on your list? Because I just rip on htens, and the hand on my cheek slides into my hair "What do you mean?"

"I can’t skip any ht hold he has on ht I meant sex, that I meant no more of that And his reaction, the way his whole body stiffened, takes away the last of ht after the way I pulled his, that he had all the power But I’ve got some, too

"Shower?" I ask, and I can’t help but think of the night that I’d turned on all the lights in the house His smile sweeps away the loneliness in a way that never could

I CHECK OFF another first in the shohen Mateo kneels in front of ers I’etic kiss just below my belly button He only uses hisenough that I try to stop him on more than one occasion because I feel bad for his knees, but he only laces his fingers through ainst the tile wall When ht’s Less detonation andwave It starts at his h all the rest of o nuainst the tile, I’m certain I wouldn’t have been able to keep my balance

I want to return the favor, but I’ exploration of me with his mouth that my hands are shaky

"I’"

He takes my hand and wraps it around his erection He has me squeeze harder than I expected, but under the fall of the shower, he slips through rabs ht

"I’ht coets harder in er, too And I’y, I’m still surprised by his body, by hoorks Then he stiffens He presses a hand into the wall by roans He jerks and pulses, and coh I’d been exhausted moments before, now I’m alertand curious

This is what I wanted to know When I’d added losing inity to my bucket list, it had been no more than a mechanical act It had been about the body, and that side of things is interesting enough I do want to touch and explore and discoverelse I’d been naive about Sex is about h I’e the equation, too Ime pleasure He hadn’t even touched hi his hands on rip on hs

That’s the side of sex that fascinates h to watch that couple in the library Pleasure isn’t just about touching the right places or ht movements There’s another element to it And I don’t knohat it’s called or hoorks, but I want to

I want to know everything