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I break away then, gasping and holding my chest like I’ve just been pelted by another Frisbee, by a dozen of the unreasonably fastit doesn’t s don’t uy before I’ve even gone on dates with a few But I’ve never had this kind of physical reaction to anyone It’s unsettling not to understand why

I put several feet between us and glare at him "I told you to stay away from me"

He hums and frowns and says, "No No, I distinctly recall you saying you were supposed to stay away froeous If what you’re supposed to do and what you actually do are always the sae an intervention"

A tide of thoughts rolls in, and I try to keep the 1:

Hook up with a jock

When I’d written those words, they’d been innocuous An item on a list It had been solely about exploration, abouteducated in every way, not just in the classroom But even then, the words had been somewhere between a joke and a proposition so outlandish that I felt relatively confident I’d never be in a position to cohts that didn’t exist before

Before I’d stood face-to-face with just such a jock

Before he’d touched me

Before I’d wanted to touch him back

It doesn’t feel like a joke anymore

On the heels of that sensuality, anxiety swoops in, filling all the leftover nooks and crannies Because, though I’s, I’m not familiar with it in the physical sense

I’ve never had sex

I’ve alwaysthat I’ve tended to view rather clinically, a norical occurrence that shouldn’t intih co to do so that list last week, it only made sense that I should check off that particular event while I did the rest of

"Clinical" is not the word that co about the intervention," he says

"I know," I snap, defensive

"Well, you looked a little terrified, so I thought I should put you at ease"

"I’m not terrified"

It’s silly to be scared of him He tilts his head to the side, and before I can react, he’s eliminated all the precious space I put between us