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"And you think I’ myself to formulate? It’s a lot harder not to ask the the that I can’t know that Only you can" She pauses, and her gaze is speculative "All I’e is a ti to solve some equation or test a theory, you wouldn’t only look at it one way You would evaluate all possibilities, explore different methods, study every variable So maybe you should look at your time here as an opportunity to explore Trial and error Especially since you’re graduating early Because once you finish here and rad school, I don’t kno many opportunities you’ll have left"

I have to ad, it is h But I haven’t done that here I picked bioot to work There’s been no exploring or experi of any kind In my classes and labs, I would never choose a predetermined outcome and railroad my study to meet that expected end That’s not reasonable It’s notset drunk and dance with a lampshade on my head?" That’s certainly not any smarter than how I’ve behaved so far

She pauses in her cooking to laugh, and then laugh soht I’d picture No, you don’t have to do a drunken lampshade dance Unless you feel like it, then have at it I just think you should step outside your routine, do sos"

What does that even mean?

I frown for ato study"

Except I don’t

Instead, I sit down on the couch, and I think about what I’raduation Two e

Granted, I have a research job lined up for the spring serad schools for next fall, but even knowing I’ve got a lot of education still ahead of e is this one big transitional period, and when it’s over you’re supposed to have transitioned You’re not just an adult in age, but in experience But the thing is

I don’t feel any different

I don’t feel like someone about to embark on the first steps of her career

I don’t feel any different than I did the first day I set foot on cah school science and math teachers can’t hold a candle to the kind of stuff I’ve been exposed to here But me--the me that is not what I’ve read in books or irl has hardly changed at all in my two-plus years here

And in my quiet moments, when my brain is not occupied with some problem or study, I wonder if I’ of Dylan’s words, I flip to a new page in rab a pen, and write

NORMAL COLLEGE THINGS

I stare at the letters scrawled across the top of the page and think about how Dylan has changed in the past few months, about the "normal" that she found Then I write down the first item on my list

Hook up with a jock

I stare at those three words, and I laugh They’re just so far outside the realm of my existence that I can’t even picture it Besidesit’s not as if athletes have this irls’ worlds upside down

And it’s not as if a guy is the thing solely responsible for htenuy was just the catalyst