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I watch her walk and look over at Antoine again He’s s in French about Clare She called hiave him an earful and I know fro hih and follow Elise to try and calirl will have to wait a little longer because no ive one fking shit about Clare, I can’t help myself I still do

Chapter Four - ROOK

Elise walks towards Antoine, but turns back when I start to follow "Go over to the , he wants to shoot by thetoday And just do what you’re told, OK?"

I nod and she walks aith a brisk pace as I nificent this place is

Studio is not really the right word for it, it’s several stories tall, and now that I think about it, it’s the top floor of the building, even though we’re only on the fourth floor of what appears to be a six-story building on the outside There’s a long s that leads up the far side of the room near Antoine’s office, and the second story is loft-like with a set of double doors in the middle of the open hallway

When I turn to the s, I can totally see why Antoine would want to shoot pictures over here They are olden sunshine pouring through theels with trumpets are about to fly in and celebrate the beauty that is this room

The floors are a polished warm oak, and the whole place is filled with different set-ups Like sets or sos that you see in photo shoots to reflect light this way and that

Antoine, Ronin, and Elise are arguing in the back room, but I can’t understand the French Suddenly the door slams and I jump a little at the noise, but then enjoy the silence as they finish their argument in private I’m sure Antoine took one look atout his cah theand enjoy the view It’s spectacular and looks out onto a busy street There are a few tall buildings nearby, but it’s s--various stores, restaurants, and bars I watch the people below, going about their lives I watch the women in particular How many of them have lived with abuse? I try not to think about it really It’s over now It’s behindon There have been a few incidents at the shelter with souy across the arm when he touched me in my sleep Since then they’ve left h And all these women over on this side of town seem happy I’ood at hiding it like I was, but froe point, it seems unlikely that they are anywhere near the type of situation I was in back in Chicago

Jon and I h school, and that’s only on a technicality because I never actually went to school He was five years older I realize now that lots of abusers look for young girls because they are easier to control and scare into silence, but at the tiuy liked s no boy ever told irl

I liked it at first That he was tall and strong He had his own place, a car, a job, a brand new college degree It seemed like a perfect opportunity for me A way to escape my stressful life and let sos people require for survival for once No teenager should have to worry about living day to day the way I did

So I let him take care of me Andhis strange obsession with controlling everything about me was norot involved, and by that time I was so dependent on him there wasn’t a chance in hell I could make it on my own any more He never lifted a hand to me at first, but slowly, over the course of several months, he alienated me from the few friends I had, asked me to quit my job, and moved us out to the country where he had access to a s unoccupied

And that’s when it all changed He spied on roceries Weird shit And I was just too stupid to figure it out Or just too young o was the only life I knew before co to Denver It started out better than it ended up, that’s for sure I used to have a faone for a while now I have nothing left of her, not even a picture So the ie of her burned into my memory is all that I have

I’m pretty sure that memory is a bit skewed For example, I picture her in a dress with an apron, but I’ of one of the ht, and not my mother

My mother didn’t bake pies, she smoked crack

But that’s what happens when all you have left is a es invade and reshape it

You forget things

And s and I find that to be dangerous Because if you forget the bad things, chances are those bad things will coain

I try really hard to keep et

And I don’t even care if this is healthy or whatever The counselors at the shelter hinted that it’s best to let the past go, but I don’t agree and it’s ets to make the final decision