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"So he gets this race Two in the e and back And he takes it He fking takes it It was total suicide, especially since the guy he was driving against was really bad news, you know? He won, a lot, but he won because he drove dirty No one could prove it, but we all knew it Despite that, he’d never been able to beat Reed Reo balls to the ith it He’d do anything to beat Kye Anything And that bridge is so narrow, so tight, it gives no roo faster … I was terrified he was going to end up killing hiot in the car with hiht, and his hands … let’s just sayto be the saht--" I break off, sigh loudly "I don’t knohat I thought, honestly"

"You thought if you were there you could keep hiht you could save his life"

I nod, because he’s right "That’s exactly what I thought Remi had always been pretty protective of ood care of me, and it never occurred to me that that wouldn’t matter That he wanted to die more than he cared if I lived"

I shake my head, start to close my eyes, but when I do I can see the wreck, hear the crunch of metal Feel the drop, then the cool rush of water

"You know, that’s the worst part," I went on

"That he tried to kill you too?" His voice is colder than I’ve ever heard it

"That I’ll never know if he did or if he just lost control We had the race We had it We’d already done hborhood on the other side All we had to do was get back across the bridge Remi had it I knew he had it I could feel it Kye wasn’t even close to us And then, suddenly, Re and …

"He drowned I ht not have made it anyway But he was trapped in the car and the water was coet hie with hi Mississippi River?" Z’s hands are on my shoulders now, his face in in to sort thee with you in that car with him?"

"Most days I don’t think it was on purpose"

"Jesus Christ, Ophelia Jesus Christ" He pulls ht I can barely breathe But I don’t co--even though I didn’t know it

For so long friends back ho Re ht out and say it, but I can hear it in their voices, see it when they look atI could to save hioing with hied him to wreck

I don’t know--

But not Z He’s swearing under his breath, slowly, steadily, furiously Not ateven ood to be held like this, like I’ in the world Remi never held me like that, and neither has anyone else Ever

Because he’s there, and because I can, I wrap htly And hold on with everything I’ve got

Chapter 21

Z

Motherfucker

Bastard

Godda bitch If Reht now, I’d kill the asole myself Slowly Painfully Deliberately, so that he knew I ? What the hell was he thinking?

Letting Ophelia get in that car with hierous it was? Fucking crashing that car with her in it? Totally irrational though it is, it’s killing me that he’s already dead That I can’t tear theli before the top of my head actually blows the fk off But there’s Ophelia to think of Ophelia, who he never thought of, is curled up in my arms, her whole body wrapped around , her body tre the bed I pull her closer, wrap htly … and that’s when I realize She’s not the one who’s shaking

I a shithead How could he do that to her? How could he tell her he loved her and then do that to her? I’ve seen her scars I’ve touched and kissed and caressed them I kno badly she was injured, and to think that some fker with a death wish did that to her … I just can’t understand

I , but if it happens, there’s no way I’ anybody withsoain Re known better If you have a girl like Ophelia, you protect her You don’t fking put her in the line of fire You fking treasure her

Bastard

The need to kick the shit out of so me hard, as is the red haze of fury that’s all I can see All I can think about But that isn’t what she needs froe No o back in time and kick that motherfucker’s ass, I need to rein it in Because Ophelia trustedhere She told me why she’s scared, and now it’s my job to hold her and comfort her and make her unafraid I may not know much about relationships, but I know that