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As I say, I can never un-see

As luck would have it, they "finished" while I stood there, arlowed on the other side, I instructed Monica to keep everyone away for at least fivebills should be sent directly to Neil at NBC

• • •

Teeks later, Si a series on secret cities and hidden te back the land The photos he was sending back to , and beautiful

I still had my hands full After the Clare over there, worked with Jillian on some new office protocols, and then decided to take a few personal days to rest and relax What I was really doing was putting the finishing touches on the house I wanted to surprise Simon when he came home and have it totally ready Jillian had stopped by to help

Initially I’d balked at ordering so , "Make it how you want it, and I’ll love it It’s justlike that, you know they’ve got wads of it I’d seen a few figures on soht this house, and Mother of God, it was a big wad

Big Wad--what a great name for a band

So order I did I aiinal beauty of the house Taking my cue fro hillside inspire the palette throughout, especially in the living rooreens, and splashes of goldenrod made the house cozy It was made even cozier by the tall stone fireplace where a fire crackled h with our collection of books behind the leaded glass doors And by the bayperched the custoh which I could see San Francisco

Windblown Girl on a Cliff with an Orange hung over the original woodenrubbed rich with oil Si in ee juice clear on my lips and chin, hair blown out wildly by the Spanish wind It was his favorite, and he’d insisted that it be displayed so, thin custom shelf filled with the bottles of sand Simon had collected was positioned on one wall, with a sether Tahoe, Nerja, Halong Bay, they clustered together to tell the beginning of our story, with plenty of room for the next chapter

In the kitchen, where ht, pots of rosemary, parsley, and thy sun My double ovens stood majestically, ready to bake cookies and pies and zucchini bread until Simon said uncle Soforever

In a place of honor on its own marble round was my KitchenAid mixer Stainless steel Cool to the touch and crafted to perfection Was there an under fixture directly above it, to hout the land? You bet your sweet bippy

And on a solitary shelf built in the exact center of the wall, a collection of Barefoot Contessa cookbooks were arranged--chronologically, of course And in a windfall of good fortune, the title page of each one was inscribed To Caroline Love, Ina

Sian’s friend Ashley’s boss Paul at the Food Network had thened for me And no one could touch the things here and there Fluffing a pillow Adjusting a vase In the living roohan--which we’d once spent ato keep the horror of The Exorcist at bay--over the plush chocolate couch Jillian looked at it quizzically, no doubt wondering why a retro orange and pea-green afghan was the focal point in a room such as this I looked around at the palette that I’d created, the afghan bringing it all together, and told her, "It was hisit all in It was done, and it was kind of perfect "Looks great, kiddo It’s really lovely"

"Thanks" I sighed, letting myself really feel the house and all it had co home?" she asked as we headed back into the kitchen

"Friday night I’et all this done before Coffee?"

She nodded and grabbed the creae while I poured "You tant to co to ask if you wanted to couests?"

"We’ll be here" She smiled

We sat down across froar to her , I looked at her carefully I needed to talk with her, and I was hoping she’d still want to come for dinner after I said what I needed to

"So, Jillian, I need to talk to you about so"

"Han

She s it, are you?"

"How in the world did you know that?" I asked, baffled

"It was a hunch So tellit down, but I have a proposition for you"

"I’ I’d been feeling about my job and my work and ner I’d enjoyed the business aspects I’d taken over while she ay, but for me it was s, and do them well

I didn’t actually want to do the down the Job of a Lifetih to say no And here’s the i down the job was honestly the only thing I could do I liked my life, and more important, I likedme that I needed to have his dinner on the table at 6:00 phts a week It was that I wanted to cook dinner for Simon sometimes, and not have to work twelve hours the day before toood Lord, no, I can’t have it all--and why the hell would I want to?

I had the life I wanted And I wasn’t afraid to say no to soer piece of the action

So here was my proposal, and it was incredibly simple I’d take on a supervisory position within the firm, especially when Jillian was abroad I’d continue to mentor Monica, sponsor new interns, and be the point of contact for all new business I’d retainclients, take over for so in new clients And if Jillian approved, we’d hire an office er to execute the day-to-day operations Sure, there’d be long days when there were projects on a deadline, but nothe office after 9:00 p ed my mind For now, this was exactly what I wanted to do