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"You have nothing to apologize for, Sy I understand Things were bad Really bad, and I fucked up I know that I pushed everyone away inand for that I’m eternally sorry What I did to you, to us…" She shakes her head "I re over there" She points to where my bike now sits "I knew I lost you forever that day; even when I was desperately trying to push you away I don’t knohy you walking away from me made me realize how fucked-up I was, but it did You should have hated er"
"I wanted to hate you All those years, fuck, it would have been easier, but I couldn’t because you gave me Kiera," I ad up at me carefully
"I never needed a piece of paper to tell me she was mine, Katie"
"Are you ready to knoho he is?" she asks, thinking it’s the reason why I’ I never find out "Keira will always be ically mine"
"But we never talked about it Do you kno hard that was? To have this between us? You never asked You never showed anger You just acted like nothing had happened" She’s right I never wanted to talk about it At the end of the day, we had bigger things to work through My energy and focus was always Keira
"I didn’t want to believe it, Katie I didn’t want Keira to see it, and I didn’t want it to deter for me We raised her and that’s all that ood h to stay, to see you overco I hate myself for that Hate that I left you when you were at your lowest," I finally aduilt that’s had its hold on lad you did, Sy If you didn’t, I don’t knohere I would be, or if I even would be?" She runs her hand along the grass I’ve laid on so many times in the last five years "Solad it was you I was self-destructing and no one was going to save iving up, you don’t realize until it’s too late It took you leaving for o, because I did I let go a long tio and you should, too" I don’t reply I allow the truth of her words to speak for themselves We sit in the entirety of the past, in the words that have hurt us and broken us, knoe’ve come full circle
"Do you think she’s happy?" I finally ask, looking up at the clear blue sky, a stark difference to the inky darkness I look up at when I normally visit
"I know she is" She ansith such conviction, I can’t argue I have to believe it
"I hope you found what you cao of our family, and I know you won’t, but you need to o" She stands and shter than I have in a long ti so heavily on my heart slowly starts to deplete
"Take care and be happy, Sy" She breaks the moment of silence and walks away
"I ao
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
Holly
"Yes, Sy," I moan as my body spirals out of control
"That’s it, baby Take it It’s all yours Milkme into complete ecstasy just like every other tis of bliss and exciteers find my sweet spot
"I wanna hear you, Holly" His husky demand isn’t lost on me I knohat he wants, what he alants, and if I hat I know he can deliver, then I have to give it to him
"Fuck me, Sy," I shout as I hit the first peak at his command
"Tell me how much you want my cum," he ruer this goes on
"I want it, Sy," I es, leaning down and hovering over ht where he wants; on the edge of supreo back I’m too close He knows it and I know it I need hiive it toive it toto hi off a spectacular kaleidoscope of colors and easm takes over and he loses all of hi down froas his sweaty forehead tohis cock pulse in the afteret it," he warns with a glint in his eye
"Like you forgot ere trying to be safe?" I cock ed for it, but that was under duress Sy smirks as he watches me like a cat that ate the canary He knohat he’s doing, and I’ve given up arguing with him about it It may be stupid, but Sy has it set in hisa baby whether I want to or not Luckily, the idea doesn’t freak ht it would I know a part of me wants to reach out and try to fill the void left over losing our child, but I know deep down even if it was to be filled entirely with a new baby, it still would re I wouldn’t want to lose because I wouldn’t ever want to relinquish the knowledge that we had suffered a loss which was part of us I wouldn’t want to replace one child for another, but the thought of carrying again makes me feel like it could help stitch the hole in my heart that feels so empty