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I grabbed a blanket and made my bed on the couch Sleep was i up on the rest I wasn’t getting, I found some paper in my mom’s desk and then lay back down
The first words were easy Dear Anna…The rest of the words were exceedingly hard I’d never laid out my heart before, not even when I’d finally adloss over sappy shit like that But I couldn’t avoid it any up, and the da to burst now
Letyou what I should have told youoke up, and every night before ent to bed--I love you I love you so fuckingbefore I finished the da, I woke up extra early so I could give Kiera a ride to the airport She was taking the earliest flight so she could get back to Ryder as soon as possible She said she’d just take a cab, since I couldn’t drop her off and get to work on tiht with me I felt like it was my duty to drive her back, to one above and beyond to check up on me
Since I already woke up at the crack of dawn for work, waking up even earlier ht Kiera was struggling with the early hour too, but she was more alert after I poured her soers "I’," she mused
With a smile, I told her, "I’m kind of used to it now…not that it doesn’t suck donkey balls, ’cause it definitely does"
Kiera laughed, then yawned "Yeah, it does"
Feeling closer to her than I possibly ever had before, I again thanked her for co out to see me "It means a lot that you took the time to…check on me Thank you for that"
Srin turned to a frown "I think"
Even though her words had a note of truth to them--I could be pretty self-absorbed at ti her lips, Kiera quietly asked, "So…are you…? Are you going to show up at the auditions?"
As I stared at her, I thought about that Was I? "I don’t know I just…don’t know"
Kiera nodded, but she looked sad "Are you going to cos out with Anna?"
I sighed "I wish I could, but I’m up to my eyeballs here I need this job" She had no idea just how true that was Like it or not, I was stuck
Kiera opened her --your old job paid better--but then she closed her mouth and left the words unspoken I wondered if she’d considered what I’d already considered Showing up at the auditions didn’t uaranteeAnd besides, that was a couple weeks away, and I had bills to pay I couldn’t go anywhere
We drove to the airport in coot there, Kiera thanked et out I stopped her when she was half in, half out of the car "Wait…" Reaching into ht Thinking I should tear it into a thousand tiny pieces, I handed it to her "Will you give this to Anna for me? Please?"
I could see the curiosity in Kiera’s eyes, but the letter was sealed inside an envelope She wouldn’t be able to read it until Anna did Fuck Did I want Anna to read it? Kiera nodded and took the letter from me, and that hen I realized that I did want Anna to read it Sure, it was la…but I wanted Anna to kno I felt How I really felt
When Kiera closed the door with a shter, h, but I finally felt like I was doing so…unselfish
I watched Kiera until she safely disappeared inside the airport, then I took off so I could get to work on tiavefrom the company He’d said he’d fire me if I made a habit of it Sancti at me was Kiera’s news about the audition I didn’t knohat to do
As much as I would love to take the ti I’d already had once, I knew in my heart I couldn’t I couldn’t take yet another financial risk thatwhen I told Kiera I needed this job If I lost it and the contest didn’t pan out like I hoped--a distinct possibility given the outcome was determined by viewers--then I would be completely screwed; there would be no hope left forthis job to audition for the band
Realizing thatmy shift God, ht I couldn’t lose, and I’d gae And noas being offered another chance, a real one this time, and I couldn’t afford to take it I was damn near catatonic with depression when I shuffled off to lunch