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"I don’t hate you," she says quietly

"Yes, you do"

Clara nibbles on her top lip, then closes the front door as she struts out "I hate how everything co hard for you for once"

I laugh and then laugh harder when I realize how crazy I sound "You’re mistaken on the easy"

She snorts and leans on the porch railing "You have no idea what hard is Do you knohat it has been like to be your older sister? Everyone’s like Look how smart Breanna is, Why can’t you be more like her? and then there’swill always be a struggle for the poor dear because she’s stupid"

I flinch "You’re not stupid You’re as smart as I am In fact, you’re siving me the pep talk for years You knohat the world looks like to ether, it starts to do o I can’t focus Not like you I’ll never be you"

For years, this is the same conversation we’ve had That somehow I’uilt "I’d switch brains with you if I could"

She chokes on a laugh "Sure you would"

My throat runs dry and I s, but it doesn’t help "I don’t sleep"

"What?"

"I don’t sleep In fact, I don’t reet by on, but it’s hard to fall asleep, and when I wake up, I can’t go back because s, but I didn’t want you and Nora to know, so I would lie in bed for hours counting the plastered dots on the ceiling There are four hundred and thirty-eight overshe has been able to do Her forehead wrinkles, but she quickly recovers from her shock "So there’s one drawback for you"