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I gasp "How dare you accuse me! Slander, slander I say!"
"You smelled like sauce for four days after that," Kieran offers irrefutable evidence I smile
"When you put it that way, you make me sound so bold Possibly even…saucy"
There’s an aard silence in the car Ulfric groans
"You like pranking people who you think deserve it," Kieran says "And you’re thinking of pranking Su me for, sir? Look atbrilliant like rolling dung bo toupees with Crisco or putting spiders in desk drawers"
There’s another silence
"Or eyedrops Replaced with pepper spray"
Livy hs and pulls into the parking lot of a flashy club with a neon sign that reads The Back Door, and we all pile out Livy grabs Tessa’s arer
"You are very scary wo from you, Leif Candecapitateyouwithmyforearmson, that means a lot," I pat his arm
He looks appropriately offended "I have never decapitate any people!"
"You should try it It’s very relaxing"
"When you’re done planning raet so priorities?" I slap Ulfric on the back "Booze first, blood second, boobs third"
"Boobs first, booze second, blood never," Ulfric corrects
"Ahhh, don’t be such a stickler, Ulfie The gods demand revelry! Onward to Valhalla!"
Like all people who’ve had the extreme luck to meet me in this lifetime he looks bewildered, but he followsclub We flash the bouncer our IDs, and he looks at Tessa’s a little longer than he needs to, and then he squints at one of ich?" He asks "And you’re thirty-three?"
I start to sweat This is the one downside of twelve fake IDs
"I’etables I moisturize I moisturize constantly"
"She’s with hs
"Alright, Kir, but if she fks up I’ the cops it was you"
Kieran flashes him a smile, and pulls me past the bouncer and towards the bar
"One rum and coke for the lady," He yells over the ht? I’ve seen you drink it a bunch"