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"At the bar" My voice cah, and I tried to clear my throat "I was the reason you were upset last weekend" I took her silence as confir my best friend, I hated myself in that moment "I’m so sorry, Pay"

"Don’t be, it’s not your fault--I h, but it sounded wrong

All of this rong

"I have to go," she choked out minutes later, and rushed out of the coffee shop

I was out ofoutside as soon as I heard the door shut "Paisley," I called after her, never stopping until I had ahold of her ar her close into my chest

Her body shook beneath my arms, and her head stayed bent as I whispered, "I’ her head back, I brushed at her wet cheeks "Pay, please don’t cryit’s killing me to know that I’m the reason behind these tears"

Paisley’s eyes closed as more tears fell froht When she tried lowering her head again, and I wouldn’t allow thewith me

What? I wasn’t sure I was just terrified that she was so me know that I was about to lose her That this was my only chance, and I kneas a chance I couldn’t take I loved her, but not the way she wantedthe top of her head, I left my lips there and prayed I wouldn’t lose my best friend as I whispered, "I’led cry burst froain, I let her leavelot watching her drive away, I knew I’d just lost the only girl who’d everto me

Chapter Four

September 1, 2013

Paisley

"I DON’T KNOW why it hurt so bad to hear him say those words--it’s not like I didn’t know that’s how he felt It’s not like it’d been soht loves differently, or so over at Jason, I forced out soh "I blame you for that last part"

Jason and Kristen both sat there sharing twin looks of pity, and I hated it All their expressions were doing was row

Eli wasn’t in love with me

I’ht line, and tears filled ain infro me still two days later

"Paisley," Kristen crooned

"I’m fine," I lied, and tilted my head back as I blinked away the tears

I al the tears out a lot lately I didn’t want the was right in the world I didn’t want to be hiding out at Kristen and Jason’s on a Sundaybecause I orried Eli would show up at ed between us--while at the same time terrified he wouldn’t show up at all I didn’t want to have a shattered soul while sihten in anticipation at the thought of seeing Brett later I just wanted to go back to how everything had been