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I can’t say the sahts Not just because of her voice running through my mind, but simply because I s er or a shortness of breath Nothing has ever been the saht of her brutalized corpse in that Red girl’s hands The ut
It isn’t the sa for it Not anger, not sadness Just emptiness If I ever loved hiives me a headache Of course, Mother removed it To protect me, she said, from a man who did not love me as he loved her rival’s son, s
That love for Cal is gone too, but sohost Moments return at the oddest times, drawn out by a smell or a sound or a word spoken a certain way Cal loved me--I know that, of course He proved it many times, over many years Mother had to be more careful with him, but in the end, it wasn’t she who severed the last thread between us
It was Mare Barrow
My brilliant fool of a brother couldn’t keep sight on all that was his, and what little was mine
I ree of theotten room tucked away in the sus Their dance lessons Mother sat by h if I needed her I reacted as she trainedHe kissed her like he didn’t know or didn’t care what she meant to anyone but himself
Because Cal is selfish, Mother croons in the memory and in my mind, her voice like silk and like a razor The words are familiar, another old refrain Cal sees only what he can win and what he can take He thinks he owns the world And one day, if you let him, he will What will that leave for you, Maven Calore? The scraps, the leftovers? Or nothing at all?
My brother and I have so in co to sacrifice anything to have it At least I, in my worst moments, when the wretchedness threatens to overwhel on my mother
But who can he blame?
And somehow everyone calls ht I’ll never find
Iris is always going on and on about her gods, and sometimes I believe they , still s, still a constant threat toMy only consolation is knowing I’ht about Mare too I poisoned her enough, tainted her enough She’ll never tolerate another king, not for any amount of love And Cal has discovered that firsthand, another gift of ured out a way to keep that strange newblood, the one who bridged a connection between Mare and reat, the reward too sain? It was a foolish trade, and even for her, I wouldn’t make it
But I wish I could
She’s out there across the waves, so the distant, crimson coast Alive, obviously Or else ould know it Even though it’s only been a few hours, the death of the lightning girl would not be a secret for long The saht ical choice for Cal, but the Red tech slum was obviously Mare’s own brainchild She is so married to her cause, and all her red-blooded pride I should have predicted she would go after Nen It’s sad, really, to know that her cause relies on people like Cal, his sneering grandive her what she wants It will only end in bloodshed And probably her own death, when all is done
If only I had kept her closer A better guard, a tighter leash Where would we be now? And where would I be if Mother could have removed her from me, as she removed Father and Cal? I can’t say I don’t know It hurts my head to wonder