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I thought I would die at once, from the pain It swelled from my heart into my throat, and squeezed my head I did not feel weak or faint; my heart beats were as slow and steady as the beat of a funeral drum, and with each thud ht was unusually clear; the colors and textures of the objects in the room were painfully sharp to my eyes I could hear the crackle of the fire, the sound of , and Robbie's A redbird cried from a naked branch of the maple tree outside the

I remembered then the promise I had made to God, that if Robbie would be spared, I would ask for nothing else I sed, and th that had carried h, and back again; I raisedhis hand to e that struggled to escape my throat, I kissed it Then I turned and left the roorief so terrible that there could be none worse I noas not so The pain that wracked me noas like none I had never experienced, not even when my mother killed herself, not even when my bairn was lost

Robbie had rejected me The mainstay of my existence ithdrawn I did not knoould bear this final loss