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"I have always suspected this," she said, still in that frightful whisper "I shall lock you in your rooain; and if you are with child you shall birth it and I shall drown it" Her breaths were coht in my throat on a sob, and in spite offroain

My ht dress at me

"Go to the wash house and wash it yourself," she said "If you wish to lie with the Negroes, you may ith them also"

I took the linen and folded it "Yes, Mah the dining roo eyes of the Negroes, I walked down the path to the washhouse

I could hear the wo as I approached The washhouse was near the edge of the swa for the s over the fire; tubs of water, some clear, some clouded with soap, held lumps of linen which the woh hands As I drew near one of the slaves noticed rew quiet

If I had been alone, I wouldn't have ; the steamy air smelled of soap and starch and lavender, and the warroes unnervedhere; this was their workplace and they resented my intrusion I walked forward, and they moved out of my way I found a tub which had been recently filled and found a lump of soap, and knelt down I could feel their stares as I rubbed the linen vigorously, tears strea down my cheeks, the pain of Robbie's rejection andmy soul

Hoould I live? What would I do? If Robbie would not have me, I must die I would drown myself in the swaer

One of the women moved to take the linen fro it for h my tears and she stepped back I rubbedra could Robbie have spurnedme? Why had he done so? I could not understand it I felt as though I were ten years old again and had been left behind as he and Kevin and Sean went off on some escapade without me