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Krista sat back in her chair I was captured by a silver bracelet dangling from her wrist She's worn it since, but it never hypnotized me like that afternoon "I think there's more between Diane and your father than sex It seems they're in love"

I fell into my chair

"You mentioned justice Where's the justice in continually expecting Shannie to be in love with you?"

"Huh?"

"Where's the justice in continually expecting Shannie to be in love with you?" she repeated

"I never pressure Shannie - ever I know she just wants to be friends I give her what she wants I' Shannie"

"You're confusing the shit out of me"

"I' about the cruelness of your own expectations I talking about the cruelty of expecting her to wake one day a changed woe Stop beating yourself up because Shannie isn't interested in being your lover" Shaping her hands into a aphone Krista cried, "STOP THE MENTAL MASTURBATION! Shannie's choices are beyond your control"

"I guess," I o wax on the day"

"Take on," I corrected her "It's take on the day"

"Whatever," Krista shrugged "I don't listen to radio shrinks"

During the days approaching my twenty-fifth birthday, I fell into a state as close to hibernation as humanly possible Only in dreams could I so through , I listened as her footfalls Ellie bounded down the stairs "James?" Shannie called from the base of the steps "You up there?"

In my dream I didn't answer

"James!," Shannie's voice raced up the stairs

My silence led her up the stairs and into my bedroom From the corner of my eye I watched her undress and slip under ht rushed intomy pillow "Wake up," Shannie ordered from the doorway Ellie jumped on the bed and licked irlfriend" I pushed Ellie away

"We have a proble blond is in my bed"