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I stood there uselessly sobbing because I’d just ruined my own proposal Why hadn’t I just said yes and then talked to him later in private? I’d taken what should have been a beautiful moment and turned it into drama We had a roo what in the world was going on, and I had a wounded and hurtthe door fir in front of your fa Tell ulp of air and wiped the re for a way to fix this

Ben

Watching E heart I wasn’t sure how I’d ed to mess up this proposal, but somehow I had A sob bubbled up her throat and broke from her lips I held her, stroked her back, and let her cry At least she wasn’t pushingher tears soakher like this

She finally took a sobering breath and stepped back Her cheeks ith tears, her eyes red and swollen

"E the room, she sat down on the bed "I will I justneed a minute" Her eyes briefly met mine, and what I saw there made my pulse sprint Fear Confusion And uncertainty

I nodded and waited, unable to do anything else I could practically see the wheels turning in her head as she fought to organize her thoughts I had no idea what had conflicted her so badly, but it was obvious she was struggling

"Let lass of cool water" I stepped into the adjoining bath and filled a glass tumbler with cold tap water, if only for ainto the bathroo back at me was just as much of a mess My skin was pale and lifeless I looked like shit Fuck, I felt like shit without Emmy I didn’t think she ever understood how badly I needed her I inhaled deeply, knowing that I’d need to search inside h to her

Molass of water and a box of tissues She accepted each and after wiping her cheeks and blowing her nose, she took a sip of the water then handed the glass back to htly more composed She patted the bed and I lowered myself down beside her

"You know I’d never intentionally hurt you You know that, right?"

She nodded slowly

"I want us to work I’ve cut Fiona fro that tie was all we needed to finally ht that a video I recorded two years ago would come between us"

She sucked her lower lip into her ," I coaxed, unsure if I could take her hand I clenched ers, I lifted her chin, bringing her eyes up to meet mine "Because why baby?"

"Becausethis future with youit’s everything I’ve ever wanted"

"And" I pro "And, I know this isn’t you It’s not what you want, and I won’t pressure you I won’t have you do this--iveness over your sex tape"

Holy shit Her words felt like a punch to the gut "That’s what you thought this was? Soift? Soood with pretty words, but I promise you I meant every word of that proposal I want you withbefore How can you not see that?"

"I believe you I just can’t go into this thinking you’re doing it for the wrong reasons"

Realization struck me and hope ballooned ininto this for all the wrong reasons Because I want you to be o I want us to vow that we’ll be together because I can’t lose you I bought your ring before the tape even cao I’ve been trying desperately to get you to move in withnaled her defenses falling away and her letting herself give in

I could tell she was nervous but only because she thought I was proposing for the wrong reasons I needed her to kno incredibly special she was toher face carefully a few inches frohtly stroked her jawline "I love how soft you are And I love the way you s as I went "I want to kiss every part of you," I whispered against her neck She let out a soft moan at my words "And I can Because you’re ht bit ainst her lips

I sunk toher left hand to htly graze the soft flesh I wanted her to understand that this finger was esture sunk in Her breathing hitched and she bit her bottom lip