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I had sohts turn back to Cate and that expression on her face when she’d realized what Cole and I had done

"Has she checked in yet?" I asked

Cole rocked back on his heels, a crease for between his brows "Nope"

"She should have listened to us" I hadn’t realized the words were out ofhand onback tos when they reject her This’ll be good for her Everyone needs reality to punch theuard"

But that was just it I didn’t want her knocked down like that My anger had shallow roots It had hurt h pride to act like it hadn’t But I could understand her decision, that instinctive need she always had to es Cate couldn’t understand that the others would gladly abandon us, use us, hurt us, because she’d never once considered it herself

To have that be our first and only conversation since we’d arrived at the Ranch--that was quietly killing eles, betrayed every last trace of trust she’d put in my ability to protect our tea to her before she left, any s my way back to her Maybe it was too late now, and I’d ht between us

That single, poisonous thought ainst the ground I just didn’t knohat to say, how an apology could ever be enough for her to forgiveyour chest into two little words? I’m sorry, I’h Not for losing him It echoed hollowly in the space he’d left behind I’s he could have, and would have, been

Cole gave a friendly wave to one of the Green girls, Erica, who glanced over She went bright pink and ducked back down, blocked froht froave him the look of a half-frozen corpse The lines of his face seeer he concentrated

"I don’t think this is a good idea to have himent is impaired where Clancy’s concerned"

"Your reservations have been noted, Ge to bet on him--Nico has the ain, not if he can help it"

"The if he can help it part is the probleet to do the saive confidential inforanization to the enemy’s son, the same person who then not only betrayed us and him, but also possibly destroyed our one shot at a cure" I turned lass

"Right, but if he hadn’t involved Clancy, if you hadn’t been tricked into co back, ouldn’t even know a cure existed"

I stared at him, momentarily speechless

"Didn’t think about it that way, did you?" Cole shrugged "The lossit opens a hole you in, a goddamn black hole at the center of your world It sucks in your thoughts before you even have tiry for ainst what you gained, does it?"

I shookout the piece of paper I’d used to write down the server and password inforlancing down atiswhat they don’t tell you about forgiveness is this--you don’t give it for the other person’s sake, but your own"

"Who’d you steal that one fro lived and learned"

I rolled ht It was there, then gone, just like the shadows that passed in his eyes The recovery was just as quick--Cole’s eyes jumped from me to the floor, and then the smile he forced onto his face was actually painful to witness After aover his chest He was daring er I didn’t, the harder it was for him to stand there, stand still I saw the moment that vulnerability welled to the surface inside of hi, like a boy standing there waiting for some kind of punishive?" I asked It wasn’t my business, I knew that, but his reaction had left my chest holloanted to knoanted hiht of whatever-it-was off him, just for a second

"It’s not--listen, it doesn’t matter, just--just think about it?" He fuh his cropped hair There were so many possible answers towhat he was, Liaue for turning their backs on him I knew about all of that, and the fact he wouldn’t say, wouldn’t soand soined