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I shakewithout purpose She was doing it to get under my skin, and it worked Like it always does"

Sanjita arches an eyebrow "I don’t know It sounds like you’re treating her like a child so she’s responding like one"

I can’t contain the surprise froe

She holds up her hands in defence "I have three older sisters Theya conscious effort not to do it to Nikhil this year"

One of my hands clutches my necklace "Like…how?"

"Have you ever invited her to your roo and empty silence Sanjita correctly interprets it "What about Gen? Do you guys ever hang out, just the two of you?"

"She lives on the other side of the Atlantic" It comes out pricklier than intended

"But you do, don’t you? Over the holidays"

I think about Gen in ain over Christmas The truth washes overto tell me for years I treat Gen like a friend, and I treat her like a child

I es I’ve been condescending, and I’ve never seen nor treated her like an equal She needs me to be a confidante A friend And then the unexpected flip side illuminates inside of me: I need her to be mine even more

"You should consider a double y"

Sanjita smiles as if she’s pleased to be seen Just like me

Chapter twenty-nine

Sanjita and I talk e and the future But we don’t talk about Kurt And we don’t talk about Emily And as January rolls into February, I realize that we probably never will We’ve grown too far apart, and our past hurts were too big Real friendship is no longer an option But I don’t feel melancholy about it – I feel relieved There’s a measure of respect and ishes between us And that’s not nothing

Our conversation alsoa fe out again, but there’s so: Hattie

It’s tie I know she didn’t et us in trouble She didn’t get Josh expelled We got ourselves in trouble, and Josh got hi him is as visceral as ever The only way I’ll ever move past it is to make sure that the loss wasn’t in vain That I’ve learned so proactive will feel better than sitting around and feeling sorry for ht way to siesture of friendship, but it takes er to work up the nerve to talk to her

She’sas hell

I find the courage on an e with his friends Or…e Maybe it’s more that I’m forced into it, because every time my world comes to a standstill, all I can think about is the Josh-size hole in my heart It’s too sad for rees to uessed I wait outside her dorm "Why did you wantme to a Siberian prison?"

I smile and cross the street without her "Nope"

She hesitates And then she catches up and walks beside me "Abandoned research station in Antarctica?"

"Nope"