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I stare at , but the word still burns againstcar, the letters were sharp and dark We kissed desperately Mrs Wasserstein opened the back door and called to hiripped ain, but this time, it was quick And then he dropped , as if he physically couldn’t hold theer, and he rushed into the car The ere tinted black I couldn’t see him, but I watched his ay until the car disappeared froaze had drifted towards her

"For oneyou one ree that it’s a fair punishives you ample time to recommit to your classithout any…distractions"

"Josh wasn’t a distraction"

The head looks me over carefully "No," she says, at last "Perhaps, for you, that was the wrong word Though I have my concerns about the other way around"

It’s a cruel jab How dare she suggest that I care more about Josh than he cares about me? What could she possibly know about our relationship?

I storm out of her office and into detention For all ofits threshold, I’ve never actually crossed it But it looks like any other classroom There’s only one other student here, a sopho his desk Professeur Fontaine – the cole-shaped head – is on detention duty "Pick a seat, any seat," she says She sounds like a street ician

I wish I knehere Josh used to sit I try to conjure his iure with rounded shoulders and a furrowed browhis life into tidy panels I step into this shadoanting to believe in its reality, and take the desk Thebeside us has a view of the school’s courtyard, but everyone is gone for the day Only the cobblestones and pigeons reot to read those panels

What if I’et into Darte All he needs is a GED Perhaps he ruined this year, but I ht have ruined our next four If only I could hear his voice again He ranted hile text: Miss you like crazy Internet also confiscated Don’t knoe can talk next I LOVE YOU

After detention, I walk straight to the Treehouse The night air is freezing, andhis own coat around ht here on our first date – and cry for the hundredth time I wrap myself in the blanket and place ainst the house with the ivyboxes and Aainst it so hard that it hurts

Here, I think He is here

I try to be there, too

"Turn that off" Kurt barges into my roo You need a perfect score on your physics test to Josh’s dad and Terry Robb are locked in a dead heat It’s still too close to predict a winner"

"Stop reading that stuff The election isn’t for five more days" And then he frowns "Terry Robb People shouldn’t have two first naetviolated Our friendship is intact, technically, but an unpleasant tension cloaks every interaction Kurt is unhappy that I’o back to the way they were, pre-Josh And I’m unhappy with Kurt I know he didn’t mean for any of this to happen, but it did happen And he could’ve stopped it

As for Hattie, I haven’t spoken to her since she was a ht as well be in prison, for all I care I’ve been glued to the news I downloaded an app that tricksI’ tooin the election, minute by minute, is the only way that I feel close to Josh His dad has to win And not just for the obvious reasons, but selfishly, I hope it ive him back his phone

"You," Kurt says "Physics Study"