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"We’re having a cover band," I say, "not a DJ But we’re having the lead singer say, ‘Here’s Cooper and Heather for their first dance as a married couple’ It’s more intimate that way"

"Ha!" Jessica cries, her catlike eyes narroith delight "She got you there, Nic How coot her?"

"Oh" Nicole leaps up, her tears forgotten, and shoves the huge, ornately wrapped box at me "Here, Heather I know this can never make up for what I did, but I wanted you to know I’ht this with h I’m unemployed, broke, and probably prediabetic My parents didn’t help pay for it at all, and neither did Jessica"

"I didn’t help pick it out either," Jessica says She’s been digging around for soner tote with old accents "Nicole did this one all on her own"

"Wow, Nicole," I say, reaching up to detach the large silver bow "You didn’t have to go to all this trouble" Obviously, I don’tof ive her all those extra names and addresses that I stole froh, to be fair, I did it because there seerooh Cooper explained to me that’s how you wanted it And it was seriously unprofessional of your wedding planner to believe that it was okay with you, and not to call you and check tothe invitations out If you think about it, there’s so planner than her At least I have your best interest at heart"

"It’s hard to dispute that," I admit, especially since the stupid woman still hasn’t returned any of our calls I’ve torn the wrapping paper froone to soall the way from the penthouse apartment in which she lives with her sister and parents "Oh My How thoughtful of you, Nicole"

"It’s a juicer," Nicole says unnecessarily, since I can see perfectly well by the picture on the side of the box "According to the personal shopper who picked it out, it’s the top of the line So now you and Cooper can start juicing things, like kale and celery and carrots and spinach It’s way healthier than the stuff you guys nor at the juicer A juicer was not on the list of wedding gifts for which Cooper and I registered I had not wanted to register for any wedding gifts at all, but Lisa, who’d been ister, we’d receive gifts anyway, gifts we did not want Such as juicers "How lovely, Nicole Thank you"

Nicole beaetables, as opposed to cooking theht away In only a in to see a difference You’re going to lose weight, because you’ll be too filled up fro to eat instead of all that nasty junk food you guys like, such as pizza and cookies, and your hair and skin are going to begin to glow"

"Wow" I can’t think of anything else to say I thoughtbrush, but apparently I was htful of you, Nicole"

I want to punch her in the face, but I figure this will be even worse for Cartwright fa to speak to her anye on her

"Oh, I’m so happy you love it!" Nicole rushes over to throw her arain, but this ti her back What else can I do?