Page 1 (1/2)

1

Every tiive ar Rush

Don’t tell ar Rush

"Sugar Rush"

Performed by Heather Wells

Written by Valdez/Caputo

Froht Records

"U room next to mine has a voice like a chipmunk "Hello?"

Exactly like a chip irl’s disembodied--but still chipmunklike--voice floats over the partition between our cubicles "Do you guys have these jeans in anything s out of the jeans I a myself into Whoa Is it just me, or was that really existential? Because what’s sht?

Okay, so it’s been a while since sixth grade math But I do remember there was this number line, with a zero in the middle, and--

"Because," Less Than Zero/Chip to the sales clerk, "nory on ht since the last time I came in here"

Less Than Zero has a point, I realize as I pull up the jeans I’ on I can’t remember the last time I could fit into a size 8 Well, okay, I can But it’s not a period froives? Nor in them Same with the 10s Which is weird, because I haven’t exactly been on any kind of diet lately--unless you count the Splenda I had in el with cream cheese and bacon I had with it pretty much canceled out the Splenda

And it’s not exactly like I’ve been to the gym recently Not that I don’t exercise, of course I just don’t do it, you know, in the gy as you can running So why run? I figured out a long tio that a walk to Murray’s Cheese Shop on Bleecker to see what kind of sandwich they have on special for lunch takes ten minutes

And a walk from Murray’s over to Betsey Johnson on Wooster to see what’s on sale (love her stretch velvet!): another ten minutes

And a walk from Betsey’s over to Dean & Deluca on Broadway for an after-lunch cappuccino and to see if they have those chocolate-covered orange peels I like so much: another ten minutes

And so on, until before you know it, you’ve done a full sixty overnment’s new fitness recommendations? If I can do it, anyone can

But could all of that walking have caused me to drop thole sizes since the last ti my daily fat intake by about half since I replaced the Hershey’s Kisses in the candy jar on my desk with free condoms from the student health center But still

"Well,to Less Than Zero "These jeans are stretch fit That ot to try two sizes lower than your true size"

"What?" Less Than Zero sounds confused