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She was still looking down at her plate I stopped chewing

‘They said I was exactly the kind of applicant they were looking for I’ve got to do some kind of foundation course, which takes a year, and then I can convert it’

Dad sat back in his chair ‘That’s fantastic news’

Mum reached over and patted her shoulder ‘Oh, well done, love That’s brilliant’

‘Not really I don’t think I can afford four years of study’

‘Don’t you worry about that just now Really Look hoell Treena’s ed her ‘– we’ll find a way We always find a way, don’t we?’ Dad bea around for us, now, girls I think this is going to be a good time for this family’

And then, out of nowhere, she burst into tears Real tears She cried like Tho who hears, her sobs breaking through the silence of the little room like a knife

Thomas stared at her, open-mouthed, so that I had to haul hiet upset too And while I fiddled with bits of potato and talking peas and– about Will and the six-month contract and what had happened when they went to Mauritius As she spoke, Mum’s hands went to her ravy congealing in its boat

Dad shook his head in disbelief And then, as ht ho to a whisper as she spoke of her last words to Mrs Traynor, he pushed his chair back and stood up He walked slowly around the table and he took her in his arms, like he had ere little He stood there and held her really, really tightly to him

‘Oh Jesus Christ, the poor fella And poor you Oh Jesus’

I’m not sure I ever saw Dad look so shocked

‘What a bloody ? And all we got was a postcard about scuba diving?’ Mythe holiday of a lifeti at ing Thomas He had lost interest in the conversation now that Mum had put an open tin of Celebrations in front of him ‘I was just an ear You did the lot You came up with all the ideas’

‘And soainst Dad, sounding bereft

Dad tilted her chin so that she had to look at hi you could’

‘And I failed’

‘Who says you failed?’ Dad stroked her hair back fro of what I know about Will Traynor, what I know aboutto you I’ to persuade thatHe’s who he is You can’t e who they are’

‘But his parents! They can’t let him kill himself,’ said Mum ‘What kind of people are they?’

‘They’re normal people, Mum Mrs Traynor just doesn’t knohat else she can do’

‘Well, not bloody taking hiry Two points of colour had risen to her cheekbones ‘I would fight for you two, for Tho breath’

‘Even if he’d already tried to kill hirim ways?’

‘He’s ill, Katrina He’s depressed People who are vulnerable should not be given the chance to do so that they’ll … ’ She tailed off in mute fury and dabbed at her eyes with a napkin ‘That woot Louisa involved in all this She’s a istrate would knoas right or wrong Of all people I’ve a goodhim back here’

‘It’s complicated, Mum’

‘No It’s not He’s vulnerable and there is no way on earth she should entertain the thought of it I’ot up fro the remains of the chicken with her, and stalked out to the kitchen

Louisa watched her go, her expression a little stunned Mury I think the last time we heard her raise her voice was 1993

Dad shook his head, his ht – no wonder I haven’t seen Mr Traynor I wondered where he was I assumed they were all off on soone?’

‘He’s not been in these last two days’

Lou sat back down and slumped in her chair

‘Oh shit,’ I said, and then clamped my hands around Tholanced up at the calendar on the wall

‘The thirteenth of August It’s to that last day She was up beforeout of the kitchenIt rained, and then it cleared, and then it rained again She lay on the sofa with Granddad, and she drank the tea that Muaze slide silently towards the mantelpiece and check the clock It ful to watch I took Tho and I tried to make her coo to the shops with me later I said I’d take her to the pub, just the two of us, but she refused every offer

‘What if I made a mistake, Treen?’ she said, so quietly that only I could hear it

I glanced up at Granddad, but he had eyes only for the racing I think Dad was still putting on a sneaky bet each way for hih he denied it to Muone with him?’

‘But … you said you couldn’t’