Page 18 (1/2)
‘George … ’
‘Don’t look at me like that I do care about him, Mummy I do He’s my brother and I love hiht of it He’s wrong to ask, and you’re wrong to consider it And it’s not just his own life he will destroy if you go ahead with this’
I took a step back from theThe blood thumped so loudly in my ears that I ale He proive ain, and certainly not in front of anyone else And we must … ’ She took a deep breath ‘Wehappens in that tie his mind’
8
Ca the words seeht see in a tabloid newspaper, or one of those awfulout of her handbag, full of wo partners, tales of aht loss and two-headed babies
I was not the kind of person this happened to Or at least, I thought I wasn’t My life was a fairly structured one – an ordinary one, by modern standards I had been married for almost thirty-seven years, I raised two children, I kept my career, helped out at the school, the PTA, and joined the bench once the children didn’t need me any more
I had been a istrate for almost eleven years noatched the whole of huh ether sufficiently even to make a court appointry, hard-faced young men and exhausted, debt-riddenwhen you see the saain I could sometimes hear the i, the blank refusal of humankind to even attempt to function responsibly
And our little town, despite the beauty of the castle, our s, our picturesque country lanes, was far froers, our thatched cottagestheir wives and children So vain pronounce devastation But I loved my job I did it because I believe in order, in a , unfashionable as that view arden As the children grew it had becoive you the Latin na was, I didn’t even do Latin at school – irls where the focus was on cooking and eood wives – but the thing about those plant names is that they do stick in your head I only ever needed to hear one once to reer,Eremurus stenophyllus,Athyrium niponicum I can repeat those with a fluency I never had at school
They say you only really appreciate a garden once you reach a certain age, and I suppose there is a truth in that It’s probably soreat circle of life There see the relentless optirowth after the bleakness of winter, a kind of joy in the difference every year, the way nature chooses to show off different parts of the garden to its full advantage There have been tie proved to be somewhat more populated than I had anticipated – when it has been a refuge, times when it has been a joy
There have even been tia new border only to see it fail to flourish, or to watch a row of beautiful alliuht by some slimy culprit But even when I co for it, the way ernails never looked quite clean, I loved it I loved the sensual pleasures of being outside, the sers, the satisfaction of seeing things living, glowing, captivated by their own tearden for a year It wasn’t just the tih the endless hours spent at hospital, the tis – oh God, the s – took up so much of it I took six months’ coh of it
It was that I could suddenly see no point I paid a gardener to coave it anything but the most cursory of looks for the best part of a year
It was only e brought Will back home, once the annexe was adapted and ready, that I could see a point into look at I needed to tell hirow or fail, but that life did go on That ere all part of soreat cycle, some pattern that it was only God’s purpose to understand I couldn’t say that to him, of course – Will and I have never been able to say much to each other – but I wanted to show hier picture, a brighter future
Steven was poking at the log fire He s expertly with a poker, sending glowing sparks up the chi on to thewith quiet satisfaction as the flames took hold, and dusted his hands on his corduroy trousers He turned as I entered the roo down?’
‘Apparently not’
‘What’s she doing?
‘Watching television upstairs She doesn’t want company I did ask’
‘She’ll coed’
‘I hope so, Steven She’s not very happy with us at thethe fire Around us the rooently as they were buffeted by the wind and rain
‘Filthy night’
‘Yes’
The dog padded into the roo up adoringly at us both from her prone position
‘So what do you think?’ he said ‘This haircut business’
‘I don’t know I’d like to think it’s a good sign’
‘This Louisa’s a bit of a character, isn’t she?’