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She rested her head on h whooshed out and tickled my neck "You had to do that twice That’s two tireed "I was a little bastard to my mom when she picked Jules I was a little asshole to Caroline when Jules picked her I wasted tiood handed to reat woht, but I’ve also lost that goodness and I’ that htI’h to survive another blow Pushed my own little brother away because that was easier than thinking about having him ripped away" I tilted my head so that my cheek rested on her curls and told her the truth about the man I was I was a coward, not a hero "Left the only person in the world that ever picked me, the man that chose ht choking on fear thinking about the things that could happen to hirown man when I made the choice to run away from home because it hurt too bad to be here and I abandoned everyone that neededto be surrounded by death I figured it ht as well be in a place where it wasn’t a shock to lose someone" I ran a hand over my face "You didn’t let your circuot turned upside down I let mine destroy me I wasn’t a son anymore I wasn’t a brother or friend I refused to be a boyfriend or a partner I becaot the past and refused to focus on the future All thatalive I refused to be all those things that I had been before the arood soldier Even on the worst days I was still good at war"

She was crying Silent tears rolled off the ends of lashes that were spiked together with moisture I didn’t want her to cry for me I didn’t deserve her sympathy but I knew her heart was too soft for the kind of brutal kick to the teeth my past carried with it I leaned towards her and touched my lips to the crest of her dahed and leaned into the touch of s you were before you becaing for you than they typically are for everyone else" One of her hands reached up to curl around the side of ers trace the line of my pulse that pounded there

"You don’t need toI know I took the coward’s way out So It tastes bad and it lingers for a long time I buried s happening here didn’t affect me One look fro around the fact that I fucked up They needed me here and I needed to be anywhere else"

Her hand slid around the back of ers scraped over the short hair at the back ofto tame the vicious sorrow that howled and pawed at

"You were a scared kid, Church, and yeah, maybe you were kind of a bratty one but you were still just a kid A lot of kids act out when their parents introduce a new dyna to run or for wanting to find a place where loss and devastationsuffered so nize the e he has done You are ht direction now"

I kissed her on the tip of her nose and lifted a hand so that I could wrap it around her slender wrist "You will always see the best in people even when they give you every reason iinable not to"

She exhaled softly andh "Now let’s go eat and spend some time with your dad You have fences to mend"

She slid off the bed and held out a hand so that she could tugof those memories all across my insides but when I rose to hter This tied not to screw it up and eht distance was the answer to keepingto wonder if I was very, very wrong

Dixie

Dinner was tense and a little bit painful It was clear both father and son were trying but the da this faated in the dark They found corown and discussing the fact that it had taken the rest of Jules’s shift to get the -persons report on me revoked Jules joked that ere lucky we hadn’t been pulled over on the way here from the hospital Church didn’t think it was funny It eird and a lot concerning Disgruntled and disgusted looks fro out of the way to cause trouble and strife for a stranger based solely on the color of their skin was another I didn’t like anything about it and I hated that both Church and Jules acted like it was nothing new

Dalen stuck his head in the dining room and asked his dad for help with his homework It was an obvious ploy to tear Julian’s attention away frooing to have his work cut out for hi could see how unmistakably similar they were Church clearly looked up to and idolized his father and had pushed him away for complicated reasons I still didn’t fully havebrother but was viewing his tentative ho with understandable skepticism They were two apples that had not fallen far from the very handsome tree that had raised them