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Dixie’s hand tightened overto comfort me or herself

"Did she make it?" Her voice was so quiet I could barely hear her

I shook my head and cleared my throat as emotion threatened to choke ood came into my life it left before I could fully appreciate it

"No, she didn’t Neither did I I enlisted and was at boot caround I didn’t stick around for graduation" I didn’t stick around for Jules or Dalen either because they still had a shot at soood and I didn’t want to be around to taint it

She let go of my hands and leaned back in the booth Eyes wide and her chest rising and falling in shallow breaths "Wow Is that all?" She sounded bewildered and a little baffled, not that I could blame her It was a lot and none of it was particularly pleasant

"Not quite There’s El in the world that actually made me s when I thought of the feisty older wo as I could remember

"She lived down the street frorandparents didn’t want anything to do with us she made sure to fill in for them She took care of me after school when Mom worked She helped Mom and Jules out hatever they needed and she was there when Dalen was a newborn and Jules was in way over his head She always had ho She is the epitohtor anyone else has"

Her head cocked to the side and she considered htfully "Why couldn’t you tell them the truth, Church? Why couldn’t you just say you weren’t ready to come home yet? Surely they would understand" It was a reasonable question butbut

"I never told them when I was promoted into Spec Ops I always let theuard duty When I went in I was an MP for the first few years, so I let everyone back hounruly soldiers I didn’t want theh loss and I didn’t want anyone to lose any sleep wondering where I was and what I was doing So no one back home kno desperately I really needed the downtime They have no clue that I came back a different man than they remember" I carried a lot of heavy shit around inside oftoin the twenty iven her more, shared more with her than I had with anyone since I left home Not even Rome knew the reason I kept communication to a minimum back home was for them and not for me

She made a face at me "You should be honest with them They’ll understand"

They would, but the way I left, the way I shutwe should be doing together, that was going to be harder for theet on the road pretty early in theand I know you aren’t exactly the type that likes to rise and shine" There was also only soto show her at one ti to so this exposed and raw I knew the sun could burn when you let it shine on your unprotected skin for too long That’s what it felt like after giving Dixie sospecial

She nodded andto reach for her wallet but I waved her off and tossed a couple of bills on the table, sure to leave a tip that woulda little less I slid out of the booth but almost fell back into it when Dixie suddenly launched herself atthat happened when you kept everyone at an arth and made sure that a scoas your default expression Her arht over ht I curled an arers of my free hand twist and twine in the endless curls that cascaded down her back They felt like silk as they wrapped around my knuckles and tickled my paler but I was surprised that she was hugging me for no apparent reason That wasn’t the type of relationship we had, at least it hadn’t been before she gave me that kiss that I could still taste and feel

"It’s for the little boy that lost both his moms and for the o through the things you’ve been through without a hug, Church Everyone needs one every now and then, even big, badass former soldiers"

I couldn’t reht have been Jules and Elma Mae when they droppedthe women I took to bed or the ed her back but it ard and stiff I wantedother than comfort

We broke apart and headed for the doorway The waitress gave a wave fro behind the counter